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To make a long story short......my husband wants to adopt my daughter, biofather is contesting even though he has had no steady contact ever!!. He did see her for a few months two and a half years ago, and has not paid child support since. We live in CA, and the law states that we have grounds for abondonement, in fact we had a social worker come out and interview us all. Her recomendation is that the bf rights be terminated. What scares me is she says that the judge can rule against her and chose not to terminate bf rights. I want to be prepared when we go to the hearing, we are doing this without and attorney. So is there anyone out there that has been in a similiar situation? I'd really like to know what to expect when we go to court.
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My husband and I are going throught his very thing right now. We were supposed to finalize on March 18, but then bdad decided to step up after not seeing for 5 years and for the 5 previous he was in prison, my son is 12!! He is contesting saying that he has tried to see him, so I don't know what to telly ou, but I will say this..when we went to court the other day the referee asked him how old my son is and he said well my oldest son is 15 and he is a year younger! Then he said that he had seen him two years ago, The referee and the adoption specialist both kind of smerked as I almost fainted!! So let him contest, go to court and let him make a fool of himself...it does wonders!! I will keep you in my prayers....Heather
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Thanks Heather for your prayers. I will keep your family in mine as well. Can you tell me what to expect when we do go to court? We haven't been yet. We can't start the adoption process until bd's rights are terminated. I just want an idea of how it will be when we are in front of the judge. I'm getting a little nervous. Thanks. Jen
Jen, Our first hearing bdad didn't show up, but the referee asked us if there had been any support or any contact, he asked both my husband and I, then our second hearing<because bdad didn't show to first and is now contesting>, they asked him the same questions. It made me nervous but now I realize that it was easy, the hardest thing for me was biting my tongue!! lol..anyway relax they have to tell you what may happen, but I am praying everything will be fine..Good Luck...keep me posted!! Heather
Just thought I'd post what happened today. Biodad showed up, when asked if he wanted to contest he paused a long while, then says, " yeah " You had to see his demeanor! It showed such lack of interest. The court then said he had rights to attorney and set another court date for April 18. They also appointed my daughter an attorney. I am so scared, I can't imagine him in her life now after all these years. She has said she doesn't want to see him, also the court investigator who interviewed all of us wrote her report stating the best interest of the child would be to terminate his rights. It seems pretty cut and dry that he shouldn't be in her life. However the idea of him having an attorney scares me, I don't know what to expect. As for your adoption please keep me informed. Jen
Oh I know, my son's bdad has seen him 5 minutes literally in the past 10 years. He made a complete fool of himself at the hearing, we go Wednesday in front of the judge for a Best Interest Of the Child Hearing, and my son may testify and I am nervous...he is so sweet and this is an extremely hard thing to do, but he says he is ok with it...I guess we shall see. Good Luck..keep me posted. Heather
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Jen, Well...we went yesterday and ended up sitting there from one int he afternoon until nearly five thirty , they took civil cases first. Anyway bdad sat about three chairs down and didn't even speak to my son, at all. He laughed at his jokes and stared at him, but never spoke. But the judge did speak with our son and scheduled to see us today at ten in the morning. So we went today and bdad was 20 min. late, then he lied a big dumb rug the whole time blaming it on everyone but himself. After the judge spoke with all of us, he said that after talking to my son he was very impressed and had made his decision yesterday after speaking with him and didn't even need to hear from any of us...lol. So he is granting the adoption, but there is a discrepency on the child support, he has 3 other kids and only owes my son's case 1200.00, but his papers show 8000.00..we need to find the discrepency and repair it, then we will move forward. So that is where we sit now, I will post when I hear something, thank you for your prayers..keep them coming, they are working!! Heather
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Congradulations Jen: Right Now My wife And I are going thru the same thing. My son's Bio-Father (I call him my son and not my stepson because that is how I feel about him) was willing to sign the termination of rights until a couple of days ago. Our problem is that he does come by to see him about once a year even though his visitation rights are for every other week. Whenever He did see our son he was a real jerk. Such as tripping him when he was just learning to walk. Up until a couple of months ago he had not paid any child support and even told my wife that she would never see a dime. That is until a judge told him that if he missed even one payment he would go to jail. This man has FIVE children by four different women. So we are hoping that all of this will convince a judge to revoke his parental rights. Anyway I am very happy for you Jen