Telling family

I did not tell my extended family about my adoption plan. In fact the only people I told were my best friend and my mom. Best friend told bdad and mom told some extended family. Maybe if you don't feel comfortable telling them abouut it you could get someone else to explain.

I told just my immediate family, mom, dad, brothers, sister and their wives or husband, but none of my nieces and nephews or my Grandparents, cousins, relatives know about either of my daughters.We decided not to tell certain people and then we didn't tell them and I don't see most of them hardly ever so they never saw me when I was pregnant either time. Anne :)

If they're not going to see you while you're pregnant than I see no need to explain. I didn't take the time. If they did see me pregnant, I only explained if they asked things like "when's the baby shower?" And even then, I told them (medical staff, coworkers, extended family, other students, teachers) briefly that the baby was beign adopted. I never said that I was making an adoption plan because that would make it seem that I could be swayed from the decision and maybe open it up for debate. I didn't want to have to debate or explain myself. If I had changed my mind, then that was my choice but no one would force me into changing it. So I made it clear with my non-answers that I wasn't going to discuss the baby or even the pregnancy and everyone let me alone except for the few close friends I confided in.

Before anybody knew I was pregnant I did consider abortion and even went as far as making an appointment but couldn't go through with it. I kept quiet long enough so that when my parents found they couldn't try and pressure me into an abortion. Apart from them, my sister and only a couple of close friends knew about my pregnancy as I didn't show much during that time. Subsequently I fortunately didn't have to explain my baby was being adopted as my parents had made to quite plan to the people who did know that it wasn't open to debate. Philippa

Bella: not wrong at all. I obviously didnt tell anyone about the pregnancy DURING it... however i have told a few select friends and family after. Basicaly my grandmother, two aunts, an uncle, and thats it. Two friends. I think its all up to you. I didnt feel the need to tell most people because of a lack of understanding that they may have. i didnt want to hear peoples questions, because quite frankly, it was my choice. Also, i didnt and still dont want the pity... i want to be helped and understood, not pitied. Maybe i took an extreme view? aiy, i never know anymore myself. Kelly

Personally would never even consider abortion. Adoption on the other hand was the choice I made for my son and I told my friends and family I told my grandparents but then again we are a close family. I dont mind people knowing that I placed my son for adoption. I am transparnet so to speak. I think that if some one does not want there whole family knowing than that is fine. I think it has to be whatever that person is comfortable with