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i'm 25 and my story is embarrassing to tell and i feel like i can't talk to my family about it. I found out my fiance of 5 years was cheating on me and I freaked out and kindof went off the deep end. I was so depressed and felt lost and alone. I met up with a friend from high school who i knew had some problems with drugs i figured i could get away from it all and spend a weekend doing that and my pain would go away atleast for a few days. Long story short I was told if I did crack I'd forget all about it. I know it sounds stupid but at the time I was so desperate to just run away from my pain. anyways I decided to try it. Two days later I woke up not knowing where I was or who I was with. I woke up naked with some crackhead and totally freaked out. Later I had found out that we had used protection but the condom broke and I know that I am a very fertile person. That was a few weeks ago i went to the doctors yesturday and got tested for everything and she insisted that I get a pregnancy test also. It's April 30th and my last period was march 12th and she things that I am pregnant. What scares me even more is I don't know who this person was and my so called friend won't return any of my calls. It will be a couple days before my pregnancy test comes back from the lab but I just know that I am. I didn't mean to do this and I don't even remember doing it. I just don't know where to turn from here
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Take a deep breath.
Then, wait and make sure you are pregnant before freaking out more about that.
Doesn't sound like a very nice story, but sometimes smart people do really stupid things. The good thing is you have lived to tell about it..it could have been worse..and you knew enough to not stay in it. Lesson learned..crack=not good things.
Now, once you know for a fact if you are PG you have 2 choices..terminate the pregnancy or carry to term. I sure as heck can understand termination in this case if you have no moral opposition to such. Considering it was just a bad exersise in general badness and bad things...I could certainly see how one would want to wipe the slate clean and put it all behind you.
Now, if you decide to have this baby? You would have to think about if getting the father reinvolved is something to presue considering the circumsatances. The whole crack thing..I would be nervous. You could just as easily gloss over the worse parts of the story..make it a bit happier for public knowledge and rejoice that a good thing ( baby) happened from a bad thing.
Just because it happened in a bad way, ill timed and not under good circumstances does not immediatly destine you for the adoption path. Being that you are 25..I would go the strong single mommy route myself.
In any case..its still all premature. Wait, stop blaming yourself, breath again, and think. Can you separate the insidence from the pregnancy? What would a baby mean to you now?
Things happen. It doesn not mean you are a bad terrible person. You will be OK. It will all be OK. It might even be good.
Hang in there.
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Hi, I totally agree with Claud. Don't rush down the adoption road just because of the crack father. Being a solo parent is not the end of the world - just hard work - but there are lots of rewards without the grief and loss of adoption. I'm proabortion but I'm glad I chose adoption over abortion. I have a beautiful daughter out there who has bought lots of people, including me, joy. But I wish I had toughed it out and been her mother. Only you can make the best decision for yourself but don't rush, think things through. lboyfriends come and go but your relationship with your child will be forever lol banjo
***hugs*** hun I know all about the drug deal ... I have been in recovery for drugs for 1 year and 6 months for smoking I know all about feeling like it may take it away for at least a couple of days but making stuff worse ... Make sure that you are pregnant first and then look at all your options if you are pregnant you do what you feel is going to best for you and the baby. what your facing is not easy ... harder in some ways cause you dont know the other person. It sounds as though you feel ashamed but dont be everyone makes mistakes some bigger than others and I know all about the BIG ones. PLEASE PLEASE way all your options abortion and adoption and parenting. every thing has long term and short term issues to deal with I know about them all ... I am walking through an abortion issues with my mother right now and it is not pretty in fact it is down right ugly.I parent a very active 2 year old daughter and I placed my son for adoption 6 almost 7 months ago Utimatily the choice is your but weigh them careful and if you ever need to talk just let me know ... private message me if you like. Jess