confused???

Well first big hugs to you this is a hard spot to be in. I dont know why your boyfriend wont talk about it but being "yound and dumb" might have something to do with that. You both are not dumb young maybe but dumb no. He might not be looking at this very logically or realistical. May be you could ask him to write up a budget including every thing he pays right now and if you guys live in a dorm then add in an apartment and all the bills that come with that then add every thing a baby needs to that you both do it and see if you can make with what you make now and if not look at the option of adoption. He may not want to talk about it cause it may make him feel like adoption will make him less of a dad or a man ... I cant really speak for the man side of this but that is how my ex felt but I cant speak for every one. Let him know that it does not make him less of one if you guys do place in some ways it makes him more of one. I dont know if you guys have a pregnancy center there but here we do and they offer counsoling and they are trained people who can offer some help to looking at the situation the way it need to be looked at. May be you guys could do something like that. Anyway hope I helped a little if at all. God bless and you will be in my prayers jess

the problem with reggie's lazy self is he's not a man he's a scared little boy. i'm being the only adult in the situation. and i know that sounds stupid. i'm just so frustrated and confused and everything else right now. i don't feel good and i'm trying to take finals at school and work and pack to move and blah blah blah. i asked him to go to the store and buy an apple because i wanted an apple really badly, he goes how much is an apple. i was like 70 cents i don't know, you work at the grocery store you tell me. he goes i don't wanna go to the store, me and ecko are gonna go to a party when we get back if you still want it then i'll go get it. so the one thing i have asked him to do he can't do for me. i have asked him to go to the doctor with me and he won't. he told me that he doesn't have to have anything to do with me ever again and that he'll be there for the baby when it gets here but until then he doesn't need to worry about me or it. i was like thanks, and to think i actually talked to you about marriage...good to know that would have been a loving marriage right there. anyway sorry to like go off on a tanget there. thank you for your help.

Izlou, You have shown maturity for admitting the responsibility of your actions so be proud of that. I was 19 when I was pregnant then had my son who was given up for adoption. The main differences between you and me are that I had split up from my boyfriend and I was working. Before you decide on the best line of action put your boyfriend to one side and then decide what is best for you and baby. I'm not saying how he feels isn't important but how you feel must come first as does your baby. Once you decide what is best talk to your boyfriend and explain how you feel. I am assuming abortion isn't an option which, if I'm right on thinking, I understand as I couldn't go through with that either. By wanting a good future for yourself is admirable and if you choose to parent your child then you need support. By this I don't mean relying on your boyfriend or your family, find the courage to seek advice from others who can help. My biggest regret in life was not standing up to my parents but I have the satisfaction now of being in reunion. My thoughts and prayers are with you and you are welcome to pm me anytime as I have been touched by your story. Philippa :)

okay i think i need to clarify something to everybody real quick. my baby's daddy and i were never 'together'. he has never been my boyfriend nor will he ever be. we got drunk at a party and had sex, it happened more than once. i'm not proud of it but it's the truth. i have no desire or intention of ever being with him. he was a friend and nothing more.

Thanks for clarifying that point but whatever you decide do so because you want to because it is the right thing to do. Hope everything turns out for the best and put yourself first. Philippa :)

I have to agree with Philippa that you need to make the best decisin for you and your baby not based on this guy. I know that you may of not been dating him but he sounds so much like my ex every time I would ask him to come to any appointments for his childeren (both of them ) he could not come and there was always some party that he wanted to go and would drag my very pregnant butt with him. You can vent to me anytime you need to girl cause I understand where you are coming from

one day i'm gonna figure out that you shouldn't make life changing decisions while drunk. or better yet i'll just stop drinking all together. oh wait i already had to stop all together so i guess there went that idea. ya know i don't want him there for me, i'm doing okay with out him. i just don't want him to look up in 10 years and go oops i missed too much can we do it all again. how about no, because we are not shoving a baby back up in me so that he can feel included in his child's life. this is both of our first child and i don't want him to regret missing it so i keep fighting with him about it. maybe that's wrong but i really feel like if i give up this fight then i'm giving up on my child's relationship with it's father. i mean if i'm not willing to stand up for my baby then who is going to? that's my job i'm it's mommy and until the day that it can stand up for itself it's my job to stand up for it. i feel like if my baby could talk it would want it's daddy there. and no this isn't the way i wanted to have a baby but it's the way i'm having one and i'm okay with that. i'm not okay with the way he treats his child.