First of all, I do not want to start a nasty and hurtful debate about birth names and adopted names. What I want to know is there any adoptees out there who have thought about changing their adopted name back to their birth name. I feel that my birth name is my name and I want it back. Am I crazy for having these feelings about my birth name?
I've never considered changing my name to my birth name, which I only learned in 2006 at the age of 38. I never even realized I had a different name and always wondered what they (foster care) called me in the 5 weeks after I was born until my adoptive parents got me.
But when a search angel located my birth certificate, I lost it when she told me my name. I don't know why-maybe it was because it made that missing 5 weeks very real. I was given my b-dad's last name and my first name was Colleen with only the middle initial A. Ironically, my adoptive name is Carrie Anne. That was very weird. I do love the name Colleen.
Coming from a Catholic agency, I'm pretty sure the only thing the A could stand for is Ann(e) considering at least 75% of the girls I knew in my 8 years of Catholic school had Marie of Ann for middle names.
All of that to say that I sometimes use my birth name as an "alias" identity online when I'm worried about spam or companies that I'm not sure won't sell my email/real info to a million other entities. I do feel a connection to my birth name because it's so Irish and no one in my family EVER acknowledges my ethnic heritage...
So, I don't think it's weird or crazy-it IS your name after all! Take care :)
"""Where the surname means something to me is in the genealogical history and lineage - who your ancestors were and where they came from and that includes surnames that were replaced at marriage. My surname now is actually a surname from where my ancestors came from, and there were marriages between my husbands line and my line (although thankfully not in my direct line) me that provides me with a link between my present and my past and makes me feel good and part of something that is much bigger."""
I was adopted as an infant in the early 60's. I was raised in a very close family with a very close and very large extended family. I have always been aware of my adoption but I've never felt adopted.
For whatever reason, I became the family historian for both my maternal and paternal sides of the family. I am the keeper of the records, the family trees. I am the go-to person when any given relative forgets the name of a dear great aunt or needs a cemetary record. I have traced both families back hundreds of years to the towns, villages and countries of origin to the names of ships and the ports they landed in. I am the keeper of two family trees that are ridiculously huge.
I was given a name at birth by my biological mother and I was given a name by the mother who raised me.
The only name that would best suit me if I were to consider changing my name at all is a no-brainer.
It all begins with me. I am the first generation. My children are the second generation. I'm Eve but I would probably put an "i" in there because I think the name Evie is cute. LOL
Yes, I probably will do it someday. I've already changed my first name once. Quite interesting to "name myself". I just chose a name because I liked it. I've changed my last name too. So, obviously... I wouldn't have a problem with changing my name to my birth name and probably will someday. I'm not attached to any names. And it is strange - but I guess I feel a closer affiliation to that name than any other because it was my official first given name.
First of all, I do not want to start a nasty and hurtful debate about birth names and adopted names. What I want to know is there any adoptees out there who have thought about changing their adopted name back to their birth name. I feel that my birth name is my name and I want it back. Am I crazy for having these feelings about my birth name?
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Hi Isabella: I am not sure if you will even get this and I know it has been years since your question was posted. I, too, have the same question as yourself. You wanted to know if taking back your birth name is crazy and I say, "No." I was adopted by my step-father many... many years ago, lol. I didn't even know what that word meant when I was nine; Adopt! I had a long distance relationship with my real father and he was a positive role model in my life. I didn't know how my decision as a child would affect my life today. Now, I want my name back. I don't know how to do it either. When you find out, maybe you can let me know. Or perhaps, I will discover the answer myself. Either way, I hope you find what your looking for.
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This is what I think and feel about your post, from an adoptee's standpoint. I think there's more to it than getting your birth name back, it's an attempt to regain control. I know that feeling, and thought about doing that at one point too, though that idea passed. When we were given up an adoption as infants, we had no control over it. There was loss and trauma. Like I said, at one time I had the idea of getting my birth name back, but I realized it was more trying to regain control of something I had had no control over in my beginnings of life. If that makes sense. I am going to use my birth name for my daughter on the way though. She is due later this month, and I'm giving her the first name I was given at birth. I happened to really like it.
No, you are not crazy for wanting it back. Since I've turned 18 I've thought about changing my name back because that is my given name, its what I was born with and I love my birth name it's 'April Mae'. But my name has been sarah all my life and honestly I don't think I would remember to respond to April.
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My middle name that I had grown up with, and really liked as opposed to nearly everyone else I knew who detested theirs, turns out to be my birth name. I feel very connected to it, and always have. I think that, even though I haven't been called Natalie since I was 8 weeks old, I am more drawn to that than my adopted name.
So, no I don't think you're crazy :)
The name I carry is half of the name that the adopted child had before me. I liked it. It was a very good down to earth name, so I kept it.
To go back to the adoption court now and get a name change to an original birth name, would be long and difficult.
Does it really matter what name is used? NO! It is a matter of personal preference.
What does matter is the Fed. Govt and the States are becoming increasingly concerned with the identity of individuals. And as a result, there is more and more paper work being demanded to support your identity claims.
If you need a passport, or even something as mundane as a drivers license, many states are now asking for birth certificates, power bills, and other pieces of information that prove your identity.
There have been cases where passports were issued in 1 name and a married name was different. The traveler was unable to make the cruise.
My only concern with name changes is that all of the accompanying paper work match -- regardless of the name. In very young children it is not an issue. They have no state or federal recognition or school certificates to change.
I wish you the best.
I think this depends on what are ones preferences. If you really want to change the names which are given by parents then it's all fine to discuss this with your loved ones and go forward to it. Get it done soon as later it might be a problem.
After being sexually and mentally abused by the ones that adopted me, I want a divorce , I want their names taken off my birth cert.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, and I fully understand your desire to "divorce" them. Apparently it CAN be done, but it's a difficult journey.
Best of luck to you!
I just changed my name back to my birth name, I believe name belongs to your ethnicity and I know I do not belong to my adoptive family ethnicity. I changed my whole name. It took me a long time to mature the idea. I was married already and my husband didn’t like nor some closest friends because they had to get used to call me by my new name. But it is who I am. I feel so relieved that was so easy to do that and I have control over my life and my wishes! Do it for yourself! :wink: the whole process cost me
270 dólares and 2 weeks!
I know I am probably out of my realm here but, my 19 year old biological son is in a pickle and I'm trying to seek answers.
His biological father chose not to be in his life, for various reasons, from very early on. Anyhow, I had married shortly after my son had turned a year old and my husband at the time was the only father my son ever knew so, after a year of marriage, I allowed him to step parent adopt my son. I thought I was doing right by my child but, years later, the marriage ended up being a whole mess of mental illness and abuse and ended in a very difficult divorce. My ex-husband had completely walked away and abandoned both his adoptive son and his younger biological son. For 8 years my children did not see or hear from their dad until I ran into him one day. He then came back into their life only to turn around and leave once again this last Spring. My adopted son had even moved in with my ex for about 2 months trying to gain a father-son relationship with him, but his dad still wrote him off, changed his number blocked his own children on Facebook, and cut complete ties once again.
So right before Christmas my son sat down and had a heart to heart with me asking about his biological father.
Long story short, over the holiday vacation my son took it upon himself to meet the family he's never met before. He was embraced with open arms and quickly became close with his cousins. He even spent a few nights over at his aunt's to get to know them all better. His bio father works on the pipeline and is out of state a lot but actually called work to tell them he would be running a few hours late just so he could stop in at his mother's house and surprise our son.
So now, I am faced with a question that I do not have an answer to. My son is currently working to get his aviation license as an airframe and power plant technican and has entered into the delayed entry program for the United States Marines. He was supposed to meet with his recruiter today but texted me very late at night from up in his room (lol) expressing to me that he really didn't want to sign any official documents until he changed his name. His desire at this point is to change his adopted name back to his biological birth name. His biological father was a Marine and he wants to follow in the family footsteps. I am all for supporting my son's decisions but, I do not have a clue on how to reverse his name. I would not know the first person to call or any of the steps he would have to take to make this possible.
I guess this is a two-part question but, I don't know how to look at it from an adoptee's point of view so I'm reaching out to everybody on this forum....
Is it for wrong for me to think that this might be too early of a decision for my son?
And if this is something that he truly wants to go through with,does anybody know the proper steps you would have to take to make this possible?
Any advice would be great. Thank for taking the time to read.
HL Joe
Last update on January 7, 2:43 pm by Heatherlee Joseph.