Dear Collective,
I have just registered at the forum here. I figure that the resources here will be of help as my wife and I traverse through adoption.
I am 36 and my wife is 34.
In March my wife and I decided to attend orientation and adoption classes from our local social services. Since then we have completed all our steps towards adoption including our home study.
My wife and I went to Halifax Canada for our 8th wedding anniversary in June and after a ridiculously late flight back home received a phone call early on June 30th from a case worker letting us know of a little girl who was available. We were going to adopt via legal risk, but it turned out that this little kid was free and clear. Good news for us, because the legal risk risks had us a bit freaked out.
Due to circumstances, the transition is being done slowly over a 6 week period with our daughter-to-be staying with us on weekends. We'll be seeing her every day pretty much because her foster family is in a completely different part of town and we've registered her for school near our home. We'll be driving her to school every day until she is with us permanantly. We also get two nights a week where she stays with us late to have dinner.
We've spent some time with her, she stayed at our home overnight this weekend, and things seem to be going well. We're not naive enough to think everything is going to be a walk in the park, but I am pretty confident that she's going to integrate well into our home.
Things are coming along pretty nicely. We are experiencing some of the angst that is associated with adopting an older kid. There are challenges, but she is integrating pretty well both with my wife and me and with the dogs--we have three.
We mostly have challenges surrounding bed time, teeth brushing, entitlement issues (she wants things her way ALL the time), all of which end up in tantrums.
That said, we recognize that her expressing anger is important to work through her own issues.
Our case worker has told us that finalisation will be in April and we've chosen three dates that it might happen.
Adopting a 5 year old is an interesting road we've chosen.
BTW, I posted this in the legal section...but perhaps someone who peruses this board has an answer...
"She has been placed in our home for almost 4 months and finalization will be in April. By the end of the year, she will have been with us for 4 months.
Does any body know what her status is vis a vis taxes? Can we claim a child credit even though the courts haven't finished doing their thing?"
I believe it requires six months of support to claim a child tax credit. But then, the tax class I took was pretty boring and I might have dozed off, so I'd check that out with an accountant.
Thanks. Yes, that's the information that I got too. I believe that we can claim tuition, childcare, etc though. Our accountant will deal with the details.
Welcome Matthew and family! Congratulations to your little lady.
DH is 46 and I am 45. We have two adopted sons, aged 4 1/2 and 8 months. Three weeks ago we submitted the petition to finalize our little guy's adoption, we're now waiting for a court date. His adoption was also free and clear, and a 6 month wait is the law.
I have found this board a great source of information and, yes, at times comfort. There are some days that are rougher than others.
I wish you all the best and am looking forward to reading of your progress with your new daughter.
Thanks. I agree that there are times that are tougher than other times. Lots of joy as well though.
There are even moments where I question my sanity for doing what we're doing. Then I come to my senses and remember that it will all be worth it.
My best wishes in your adoption road as well!
We had a surprise! YESTERDAY we got our court-date for finalization: TOMORROW!! The 11th of April Adam will be officially ours!! YESS!!!!
And just by chance my daughter, her husband and my mother are here for a visit.
What a way to go into the Passover Holiday. Needless to say, I am ecstatic.
Hey, I'm new to this forum as well and I would like to share my thoughts on this adoption. Matthew, you are doing a great thing because kids just need our love and support nothing else you are exactly you are doing the same thing but, sometimes we are failed at it and after regret, a lot about. Keep loving and keep celebrating every moments with your child.