I thought it would be cool to hear success stories from those who have adopted domestically. So, here are some questions for those of you who have successfully adopted.
1) How long did you wait to find your child?
2) How did you connect with his/her birth mom?
3) What was the first thing you thought when you saw your child for the first time?
Looking forward to reading your responses! :)
[/QUOTE]1) How long did you wait to find your child?
We waited 2 1/2 years from H/S completion for our match, then another four months for birth. We had o other matches in that time before matching with babe's biological parents.
2) How did you connect with his/her birth mom?
Through our agency.
3) What was the first thing you thought when you saw your child for the first time?
While we waited in the waiting room for babe's biological father to come share "the news," I recall I was filled with such gratitude to just be there at the start of this remarkable little life. Out the door came babe's biological father, he knelt before me putting his hands on my knees and said, "It's a ..." I jumped up and hugged him with all my might and burst into tears, the only thing I recall thinking was that they (birthmom and babe) were both alive. He took us to see them. The room was dark, babe's birthmother looked beautiful, and babe was this rumpled little cacoon. She asked if I wanted to hold babe, I then got my first real look at this amazing soleful little face, deep and thoughtful eyes. I was truly afraid I'd never let go, so many questions remained in my mind about whether or not babe's future lied with us, so I soon handed babe to my hubby, fearing I'd crumble then and there. My joy was mixed with fear and sadness, each emotion seemed to highten the other, almost making being in my head too much to bear so I know there were extended periods during the next fews days that I thought nothing at all, I tried my best live in each moment only.
1) How long did you wait to find your child? We sent in the initial application to our agency in February of 2004, became active with them May 17, 2004, and brought Christopher home from the hospital April 8, 2005. So 14 months from application, 11 months from time of activation. We had one failed match prior to bringing him home.
2) How did you connect with his/her birth mom? She chose us through our agency profile 1 week before her expected due date.
3) What was the first thing you thought when you saw your child for the first time? My first thought was "he's so tiny!" (Dd was 9 lbs 11 ozs and he was only 7 lbs 11 ozs, so he seemed very small to me.) I don't think I thought of him as ours yet, but the whole evening is a bit of a blur. We received the call that S was in labor about 11 am and that we should head for NH (a 5 hour drive). Dh had to come home from work and we had to finish packing, so we didn't get to the hospital until about 10:30 at night. Christopher was born at 12:20 pm so he was about 10 hours old. We were exhausted from the drive and had initially decided to go to the hospital the next day, but S and her father wanted to meet us. So we met S, her father and Christopher for the first time at the hospital. We knew S was still his mother and didn't want to step on any toes, so I waited until she asked if I wanted to hold him. It was then that I thought he was tiny and perfect, and I hoped he would be ours. Lindsay, on the other hand, sat down by the foot of the bed as soon as we got there and said "I want to hold the baby." LOL
The next day was really the most amazing one. We headed for the hospital expecting to visit for awhile with S and her father only to find out that she was checking out, Christopher was going to be released and we were going to be taking a 24 hour old baby back to the hotel with us! :eek: The hospital staff was wonderful to us and to S. It wasn't until we got back to the hotel that I really realized that this precious little boy was going to join our family. :D
Here he is with Lindsay at 1 day old in the hotel room:
1) We waited 3 months from agency approval.
2) Birthmom wanted a closed adoption.
3) How he looked just like me when I was a newborn
1) How long did you wait to find your child?
-- We decided on adoption in Nov. of '04
-- I put up an 'intro to our family' ad online in Mid December '04
-- We heard from our son's birthmom on Dec. 27th, '04
-- We matched on Jan. 8th, '05
-- James was born on Feb. 12th, '05!
This happened so quickly... we didn't have a homestudy started and had to scramble to be ready in time. We had expected a long journey (having been told we'd have a longer wait due to being a youngish two-mom family) so we were shocked (and thrilled!!). :)
2) How did you connect with his/her birth mom?
S. found us off that one ad. We emailed back and forth a few times and after matching, flew S. to our community (at her request) for the remainder of her pregnancy. We now have an open adoption (she has every piece of our info and we consider her family) but S. has chosen to distance herself for now. :( I hold out hope that she'll decide to be in touch in the future, but am respecting her need for space right now.
3) What was the first thing you thought when you saw your child for the first time?
I watched James be born. I held S.'s hand/arm and DP held her leg (she had an insanely fast labor.. we barely made it to the hospital). Honestly I was worried at first because I thought something was wrong with him. Having never witnessed a birth before I had no idea that babies' skulls get that smooshed and wrinkly coming through the birth canal. Once he was officially earth bound I was just in shock. :eek:
Needless to say, I thought he was the most perfect baby ever. It felt like I was betraying S. to be focused so acutely on James, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't cry though...(DP leaked like a faucet!). We sang him Happy Birthday and I just was frozen and somewhat in a must-pay-attention-to-logistics-so-I-don't-lose-it mode.
I didn't really start to claim James as *mine* until we were on the way out of the hospital. He was tiny in his car seat and we had him propped with blankets that had been in the family for years. S. was discharged at the same time (driven to where she was staying by my mom) and the emotional nature of leaving with James while S. left without him made me sob for hours. It didn't help that we left the hospital on Valentine's day and that DP put "Sweet Baby James" on repeat for the entire ride home. Bawled, I tell you... *bawled*. :o
(Whew! Sorry for giving my whole story! I love hearing people talk about their experiences, though, so hopefully no one will mind me sharing.. :) )
Here are the requisite pics!
) How long did you wait to find your child?
It took us 20 months. 10 months to complete h.s. and dear birthmother letter. After 2 failed matches and 10 months later we had our girl!
2) How did you connect with his/her birth mom?
Our agency matched us. We did not meet her untill our daughter was 2 months old.
3) What was the first thing you thought when you saw your child for the first time?
I thought she was perfect. Since it was a last minute match, I stood in the hospital amazed and through tears I realized I was a momma. That was just over 2 months ago on 6/21/05. She was worth every second of the wait!
WOW I will post more later! But this is a great board! Everyones babies look so happy and healthy:)
God Bless,
I may be late on this, but I'm new around here. We started the adoption process with a private agency in September 2002 after several years TTC. We were approved and waiting by the end of January 2003. Our DD arrived in March 2004. We finalized with her 6 months later, so all told, it was a two year process. Currently we are entering our 4th month waiting for our second child.
During our wait with the private agency, we also completed a homestudy through our province's Children's Services. Our homestudy with them was signed THE day we got the call about our DD from our private agency. Our file is currently open with them as well as we wait for our second child.
We were shown 15 times before our profile was presented to Bug's first mother. She picked us on a Tuesday evening and we were the only family she wanted to meet. We were contacted that Friday and met her the following Tuesday. She said she was due in three weeks so we planned on meeting again that Friday to take her to her doc appt and ultrasound. We are very fortunate that we did lots of preparing during our wait because Bug arrived just two days after our FIRST meeting with her first mother. We were the support team during the delivery and had the amazing privilege of watching our DD enter the world. What was even more amazing was that her first mother allowed us to be there...what a blessing!!!
We spent the day in the hospital together and DH took her home that night, at her request. DH and I spent the night at the hospital with Bug and we all went home the next day. She was in our home a week to the hour after we first got the was a whirlwind!
We continue contact with Bug's birth family, including her first mother, grandparents and two siblings. We look forward to being a part of their lives as much as they want us and also, we hope that if we are blessed with another child, the adoption will be open as well.
1) How long did you wait to find your child?
* It took us 13mos ..started Dec '02 and DD was born Jan '04 and we had 1 failed match during that time
2) How did you connect with his/her birth mom?
* She contacted our agency @ 3mos pg and chose us @ 5mos pg/we were able to meet her a few mos before the birth-
**Bless her Bmom
3) What was the first thing you thought when you saw your child for the first time?
* We were in the delivery room and actually were able to watch her "come out" (sorry if TMI). I just couldn't believe that after 10yrs ttc that this was our DD. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. And those cheeks!!!
- Her adoption was finalized 7/04
The 1st pic is of her about 7hours old getting ready for her 1st bath and the 2nd is a pic of my big girl taken just last week
Our son is 8 months old. He was placed in my arms at 2 minutes old and we've had him ever since. We were able to finalize his adoption a week before he turned 3 months old. He brings so much joy to our lives each and every day!
To read about our domestic adoption journey, go to [url][/url].
1) How long did you wait?
Information session in Jan 2004, went on waiting list that week. Came off waiting list June (5 months). Paperwork and homestudy complete by Labor Day (3 months) - Picked day before Thanksgiving, met the following Tuesday, son born next day (3 months) total of 11 months.
2) Through our agency
3) He was beautiful! And so precious!! And ours! He spent a week in the IC nursery with a wacky blood sugar level, then came home to us!!!!
1) We hardly waited at all! We were on the waiting list for about 3 weeks when we got our phone call.
2) We used a private agency licensed in our state.
3) What a beautiful baby! He was sleeping so peacefully in his carseat. Also, he was so tiny!! (He was 5 lbs 5 ounces at birth.)
Btw, Sean is now 4.5 months old and we finalize on 9/20/05!!! :D
Thanks for letting me share! I love it!!
1) How long did you wait to find your child?
Took 9 months doing Homestudy, retaining attorney, making a website, business cards, and the Birthmother letter. Finally everything in its place Aug. 04 and our contact came 4 months later through our attorney. Our Prince was born 3 months later!
2) How did you connect with his/her birth mom?
Our wonderful Attorney
3) What was the first thing you thought when you saw your child for the first time?
Oh words to describe!! I was the first to hold him. O.K. well first thought he was coming out....please cry! Then are beautiful! And his birthmother would laugh when I would say beautiful....she wanted a more masculine term :)