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Thread: Adoption of 3 year old boy
My bio daughter C was 7 when M (almost 4) joined our family in December. There have been lots of wonderful times, and some really, really rough ones, partly because I have been experiencing Post Adoption Depression. It is very similar to Post Partum Depression, which I experienced after C's birth. At different times, the adjustment has been hardest on C, and at other times, hardest on me. M and DH have managed pretty well emotionally, under the circumstances. Of course, M has lots of emotional issues that we are working on in therapy. When C and M are getting along, they play great together. However M does very frequently do 'antagonistic' things to C. She will make an irritating noise over and over and over and refuses to stop (until I give consequences). That has gotten better. M will 'stretch' her arm or leg out and put it in C's face. If C is jumping rope or hoola-hooping M will purposely get right in her way. M pushes past C getting into the car or going through doors. She will also stop in the doorway to block C from getting through. C is currently feeling VERY sad. Partly about M annoying her, but more because she feels she does not get enough time for me. C was very excited about adopting before we did it. Now, I think on most days she would say she wished we had not adopted M. I am sure things will get better...we are still adjusting and it has only been 9 months. And truly, they often have a great time playing together and sometimes C relishes her 'big sister role'...helping M and teaching her things. Best advice is to make sure that each child gets one-on-one time with each parent, and that the older child gets plenty of time away from the new child (play dates at friends' houses). Good luck!
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