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Hi
On the birth of our second bio daughter (51 weeks after our first was born) we came to the conclusion that birthdays are extremely hard when the children are little. So we started our own tradition. On the girls birthdays they give the alternate birthday present to their sibling. This seems to decrease the pressure of either feeling "left out" on the others birthday and reminds them that they are members of a family. It encourages them to be thoughtful of the others feelings and both girls now 8 & 9 actually look forward to this aspect of their birthday. This will be expanded with the entrance of our "Hopefully Soon" adopted sibling.
Cheers
Nicola