What info would you want to share?

There is a Birthparent scrapbook available at tapestrybooks that sounds like it might fit what you're looking for. It has different pages with spaces for a bparent to complete as time goes by (it's intended as a gift for the bparent to one day give back to the child). The pages can be removed (incase something doesn't apply or the bparent isn't comfortable with the question) and it also has blank pages in case the bparent wants to add other things. We bought one for DS's bmom and she really loved it.

Elle's parents had bought one for me when I was expecting and I returned it filled out on the day the adoption was finalized.I see Elle flipping through it now that she is three and she tells everyone that she remembers the day she was born because they read her the book. I think it is a great gift idea and the fact that the child will always have something from their birthfamily.

What would I want to share? Every little thing in the world. I bought a book at Hallmark that has a question at the top of every page, a writing prompt, that the Mother fills out. It's for a traditional "Mother," but works VERY well for a Mother. If you go to Amazon website and search for A Mother's Memories to Her Child ... they have the Thomas Kinkade version on that site. (Mine is not the Thomas Kinkade version... which kind of makes me jealous! I love TK!) There were only a few questions here and there that I had to change. (i.e., "Tell me about the day you Married my Father." I obviously didn't marry the father, so I told her about my wedding day to Josh instead.... and how she was there, etc.) It's still not all the way finished but it will be before she can read. :)

I see that you have TWO possibilities and may consider adoption of either or both.I hope that for the sake of either or both you are planning an open adoption. No one could ever put everything they need or want to say to their child in one document - nor COULD they possibly, especially priot to the child being born. Feelings change so drastically once the child becomes a real live person!! And thing scontinue change - both emotionally and physically over the coruse of the child's lifetime.Medical information alone changes. If the birthmom is young the only medcial histoy she has now is when she head chicken pox! Only by maintining openness over your child's lifetime will you know if she develops cancer at 30 or heart disease at 40, diabetes at any age, etc.While these are axciting antipipatory times for you - like any expectant mother, it is not the same on the other side of the coin. Adoption is NOT a win-win...it's win/loose. You are antiticpating a great arrival in your life, someone else is anticipating a devatstaing loss.Unless you yourself are a birthmother, you do not know what either of these expectant mothers are going through. They too, like you are expectant mothers! And are more than likely sorting out lots of ambivilant confusing feelings right now. They should not be thought of as birthmothers at this point because that assumes a foregone conclusion - a decison which cannot be legally made until after the birth of their babies.Mirah

Had to agree with FHangelsmom in that adoption means someone gains at someone else's loss. That loss is often denied or suppressed to begin with but it will resurface (I know!) and it will be there for ever. Yes, I do hope that you are going to consider a completely OPEN adoption (even if the bmom is young and still needs to grow up a bit, there will come a day when the reality of what she has lost will hit her very hard and, knowing that she can still connect with her child will be terribly important - not just for her but for the child that will also be your child too). I am sure that you are a compassionate person. Just remember, that however much you might like to cut the bmom out of the picture in the future, bmom will still be important to your child. You will be mom and SHE will be mom too. Remember that you are BOTH important to your future child and that, providing you kind find sympathy and love in your heart to do the best for those who will be less fortunate than you (the bmom losing her kid and the child, losing his/her bmom) all will be as well as it can be under the circumstances.