Adoptees speak out

I am a biomom to 3 and amom to 1. When my adaughter was born, I had 2 bio kids: 1 was 2yrs old and the other 6 months old. I nursed my bio-kids (my goal was always at least a full year) and since I was nusing my 6 months old, I had plenty of supply to sustain the needs of my newborn daughter. I contacted the Le Leche League to make sure all would be well and if there was anything I would need to do to make sure I had enough for both. My body basically adjusted to the needs of the girls...like if I'd have had twins. I needed to drink plenty of water and eat enough for all of us. I discussed my desire with my duaghter's birth family, particularly her birth mom (who turned 14 right before she delivered and who was very supportive of my nursing). I was able to nurse her 5 hours after birth and would make daily trips to the hospital to nurse her. What we decided was appropriate was for her birth mom to bottle feed her and when I came, I would go to a seperate location (a storage closet with a rocking chair and a bunch of junk) to nurse in private. I wanted to be respectful of the 1st mother and her feelings. I didn't want to march in and be "MOM!"...she was Mom till she presented the baby to me and I never did any of that "baby talk" or referred to her as "my daughter" in front of her birth mom. I thought nursing in front of her would be disrespectful, so the staff at the hospital was kind enough to give us some privacy. I felt her birth mom knew what was going on and knew we were bonding as mother and daughter...I didn't see a need to rub it in her face in case it would be in anyway painful. I hope that makes sense. She had her special time with her daughter and I had mine during those first days. Anyway, it was such an honor and privilege to have the opportunity to nurse my adaughter. Had her birth mom been against it, I would have respected her wishes. I do believe if you can do it, by all means try it! My thought was that I wanted my adaughter to have all the benefits I bestowed upon my bkids...if I believe "breast is best" then she deserved my best. If it didn't work, at least I tried. It was a special time of bonding...not that we wouldn't have bonded had I not nursed, but I'm glad I was able to. She did develop /end up having some health issues that caused her to be unable to hold liquids down, so after several months on the breast, I began mixing my milk with rice cereal then switching to formula w/ cereal and a bottle to make a meal thick enough for her to hold down. I would have loved to have nursed her longer, but it was never about me and what I "wanted"...it was about her and what was best for her. My understanding of breastfeeding, for those who do not currently have a milk supply, is when you stimulate the breast, milk will be produced. Pump before you get your baby to get the production started (doesn't that sound like a good time on a Saturday night! Sitting at home with pumps on! You will feel like some 4H dairy cow.) If you are not making enough, there are systems where you can supplement your own milk with formula. The formula is in a container and a tube/straw is connected to the container and taped to your breast so that when the baby sucks, it gets breast milk from you and formula from the tube. This fosters the bonding (needs of baby being met, closeness, etc...), helps you produce more milk, and meets the nutritional needs of the baby. Regardless, there is nothing "unnatural" about a mother wanting to nurse her baby. Breasts have been so sexualized as to miss one of their main functions. Those who have never adopted also do not realize your achild FEELS every bit like your bchild! Your heart doesn't know the difference. If you would feel the desire to nurse your bchild, then naturally, you would feel the desire to nurse your achild! It is perfectly normal for a mother to want to nurse her baby...I craved that skin-to-skin contact. The closeness. The bonding. They were very tender moments between my children and I. Not everyone can nurse, but if you want to try it...GO FOR IT! You will never regret trying. You are not sick or nursing "someone elses child" or getting some sort of sexual gratification out of it! (People say the oddest things!) You are being a mother to YOUR child. Don't let anyone take that from you.