To all Of my fellow adult adoptees :)

1. I have had feelings of fear of abandonment most of my life.1= Strongly disagree2= Disagree3=Undecided4=Agree5=Strongly agree 2. At some point in my life, I have felt loss, rejection, and abandonment towards my biological parents.1=Strongly disagree2=Disagree3=Undecided4=Agree5=Strongly agree

3. I feel that I have struggled with trust issues most of my life.1=Strongly disagree2=Disagree3=Undecided4=Agree5=Strongly agree

4. Do you feel that your experience as an adoptee, is different from non-adoptees?YES/NO If yes, please explain.Most everyone you come into contact with in life knows who they are, where they came from, who they look like etc. etc. Not knowing who you are makes for a very different life experience.

5. Have you ever felt lost, or that there was a lack of permanence in your adoptive home?YES/NO

6. Have you always known (early childhood) that you were adopted?YES/NO7. Have you ever had negative feelings about being adopted in your lifetime?YES/NO If yes, please explain.I have often wished I were never born and I can remember always wishing to be "normal" like my friends. I have also felt resentment towards my younger sister in my adopted family who is not adopted.

8. Do you have any resentments towards your biological parents?YES/NO If yes, please explain.For meeting me and knowing where I am (less than 10 miles), and not showing any interest in me.

9. Have you ever felt the need to know or want to know your biological parents?YES/NO If yes, please explain.10. Do you feel that you have struggled with identity issues throughout your life?YES/NO11. If you were raised in an adoptive family where they had biological children of their own, do you feel you were treated differently?YES/NO If yes, please explain.I know in my head that I was treated the same, but in my heart it feels different. I think it's that biological thing, the animal instinct bond between people that I notice, and that IS different.

12. Were your adoptive parents open and understanding about your adoption, and willing to answer your question?YES/NO If yes, please explain.They were only willing to retell the "story" and not willing to talk about "that woman" as they refer to her, or to talk about how i felt. After awhile I stopped trying to talk about it.

13. As an adolcent did you go through many friends?YES/NO

14. Have you ever tested a friendship or intimate relationship to see if that person could be trusted?YES/NO15. In intimate relationships have you ever purposely sabotaged it, because you new you would get hurt sooner or later?YES/NO16. Have you avoided intimate relationships all together?YES/NO

17. Do you have difficuties maintaining intimate relationships?YES/NO If yes, please explain.I have been married 3 times and divorced 3 times.18. At any point in your life have you experienced any of the following:_x__ Low self-esteem__x_ Depression___Learning diabilities___ Aggressive behavior_x__ Rejection__x_ Identity issuesIf you checked off any of these, do you feel that it was related to being adopted?YES/NO 19. Do you feel that you are:___ Shy_x__ Withdrawn___ A loner___Afraid of conflict_x__Anxious to please/people pleaserIf you checked off any of these, do you feel that it is related to your adoption experience?YES/NO\ Thank you for your time in taking this survey.

How do I take this survey,or can I still?

:woohoo: Not sure if this should be my first post or not, but I guess it is a way to intro one's self to the group! Hi all!:clap: You're welcome! Thanks for providing it. Hopefully, I'm not too late to be part of the research

1. I have had feelings of fear of abandonment most of my life.1= Strongly disagree2. At some point in my life, I have felt loss, rejection, and abandonment towards my biological parents.1=Strongly disagree3. I feel that I have struggled with trust issues most of my life.1=Strongly disagree4. Do you feel that your experience as an adoptee, is different from non-adoptees?YESI tend to view family and connection as a more active choice than people who have never experienced adoption. Knowing that people can conciously choose to bond and unite and that there is no magic that takes place in the birth canal definitely influences my outlook on some social and political issues. 5. Have you ever felt lost, or that there was a lack of permanence in your adoptive home?NO 6. Have you always known (early childhood) that you were adopted?YES7. Have you ever had negative feelings about being adopted in your lifetime?NO 8. Do you have any resentments towards your biological parents?NO 9. Have you ever felt the need to know or want to know your biological parents?NO10. Do you feel that you have struggled with identity issues throughout your life?NO11. If you were raised in an adoptive family where they had biological children of their own, do you feel you were treated differently?N/A12. Were your adoptive parents open and understanding about your adoption, and willing to answer your question?YES13. As an adolescent did you go through many friends?NO14. Have you ever tested a friendship or intimate relationship to see if that person could be trusted?NO15. In intimate relationships have you ever purposely sabotaged it, because you new you would get hurt sooner or later?NO16. Have you avoided intimate relationships all together?NO17. Do you have difficuties maintaining intimate relationships?NO 18. At any point in your life have you experienced any of the following:NoneIf you checked off any of these, do you feel that it was related to being adopted?N/A19. Do you feel that you are: NoneIf you checked off any of these, do you feel that it is related to your adoption experience?N/A

I was happy to complete your survey but I'm very interested to know how you think it can be used. As a way for board participants to share their view and outlook, it's a great tool. But it is not designed to answer the question it poses: Do adult adoptees experience some form of fear of abandonment?Again, I think it's a great conversation starter. But without correct scientific design not to mention controls for age, socioeconomic factors, mental health, etc... it cannot even reasonably serve as a datapoint of self selecting adult adoptees feelings on fear of abandonment. Sample size and the origin of volunteers (adults who participate in adoption forums) render the survey hopelessly inaccurate. But again, I think the questions were interesting and I expect that your have a perspective on the question that you would like to share.

yes there was a lack of permanence in my adoptive home i always felt like i didnt belong there thats the way they made me feel i lways thought they were going to give me to other people to raise because they would get tired of me

1. I have had feelings of fear of abandonment most of my life. 1= Strongly disagree 2= Disagree 3=Undecided xx 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree 2. At some point in my life, I have felt loss, rejection, and abandonment towards my biological parents. 1=Strongly disagree 2=Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree xx 5=Strongly agree 3. I feel that I have struggled with trust issues most of my life. 1=Strongly disagree 2=Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree xx 4. Do you feel that your experience as an adoptee, is different from non-adoptees? YES If yes, please explain. My adoptive mother pushed feelings of doubt about herself on me. She resented not giving birth and made me suffer when my children were born. 5. Have you ever felt lost, or that there was a lack of permanence in your adoptive home? /NO 6. Have you always known (early childhood) that you were adopted? YES 7. Have you ever had negative feelings about being adopted in your lifetime? NO 8. Do you have any resentments towards your biological parents? NO 9. Have you ever felt the need to know or want to know your biological parents? YES I strongly want to know them. I think they may have been the only people to ever consider me before themselves and do what they thought was best for me even if it was painful for them. 10. Do you feel that you have struggled with identity issues throughout your life? YES 11. If you were raised in an adoptive family where they had biological children of their own, do you feel you were treated differently? NO 12. Were your adoptive parents open and understanding about your adoption, and willing to answer your question? NO 13. As an adolcent did you go through many friends? YES 14. Have you ever tested a friendship or intimate relationship to see if that person could be trusted? YES/ 15. In intimate relationships have you ever purposely sabotaged it, because you new you would get hurt sooner or later? YES/ 16. Have you avoided intimate relationships all together? NO 17. Do you have difficuties maintaining intimate relationships? YES I have never trusted enough to marry, I tend to choose men who have problems with committment, substance abuse, and are untrustworthy 18. At any point in your life have you experienced any of the following: __x_ Low self-esteem _x__ Depression __x_Learning diabilities ___ Aggressive behavior __x_ Rejection ___ Identity issues If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it was related to being adopted? xNO 19. Do you feel that you are: __x_ Shy _x__ Withdrawn __x_ A loner __x_Afraid of conflict __x_Anxious to please/people pleaser If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it is related to your adoption experience? NO \ Thank you for your time in taking this survey.

first of all my name is darlene and i tried to do the survey but i could not circle no answers because i did not know how to..but i would very much like to..please contact me. thank-you darlene

1. I have had feelings of fear of abandonment most of my life. 4=Agree 2. At some point in my life, I have felt loss, rejection, and abandonment towards my biological parents. 4=Agree 3. I feel that I have struggled with trust issues most of my life. 5=Strongly agree 4. Do you feel that your experience as an adoptee, is different from non-adoptees? YES, it's definitely different. Maybe not markedly so, but adoption brings w/ it it's own feelings and issues. 5. Have you ever felt lost, or that there was a lack of permanence in your adoptive home? YES (I have felt lost, but I can't say this has to do w/ adoption, just adolescence?) 6. Have you always known (early childhood) that you were adopted? YES 7. Have you ever had negative feelings about being adopted in your lifetime? YES, I've resented being adopted at times. I wonder why can't I know things about myself that other people take for granted? I've felt ashamed when people ask me things like "Where are your 'real' parents?", etc. I've also been ashamed when I have to admit not knowing basic things about myself that I feel I SHOULD know. 8. Do you have any resentments towards your biological parents? YES, I have HAD resentments, mostly towards my bdad, but also my bmom. A while ago I felt like my bmom was stupid and irresponsible. It also hurts me that my bdad wouldn't take responsibility and denied that I was his. 9. Have you ever felt the need to know or want to know your biological parents? YES, and I hope to find them one day. At the very least I would like to know things like what my heritage is, what my medical history is, who do I look like, etc. It would be nice to establish some type of continuous communication, if only once a year or so. 10. Do you feel that you have struggled with identity issues throughout your life? YES 11. If you were raised in an adoptive family where they had biological children of their own, do you feel you were treated differently? N/A 12. Were your adoptive parents open and understanding about your adoption, and willing to answer your question? YES AND NO. I think they were and are uncomfortable with talking about my adoption for too long. I was hurt a little that my mom kept my bmom's name from me (I guess so I couldn't search). 13. As an adolescent did you go through many friends? YES 14. Have you ever tested a friendship or intimate relationship to see if that person could be trusted? YES 15. In intimate relationships have you ever purposely sabotaged it, because you new you would get hurt sooner or later? YES 16. Have you avoided intimate relationships all together? YES 17. Do you have difficuties maintaining intimate relationships? YES, b/c I sabotage them. 18. At any point in your life have you experienced any of the following: _x_ Low self-esteem _x_ Depression _x_ Aggressive behavior _x_ Rejection _x_ Identity issues If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it was related to being adopted? Maybe in some circumstances. I'm not sure I could ever really say what IS related to being adopted. 19. Do you feel that you are: _x_ Shy _x_ Withdrawn _x_ A loner _x_Afraid of conflict _x_Anxious to please/people pleaser If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it is related to your adoption experience? Again, maybe. I'd say YES to the last two.

This survey asks questions about an adult adoptees experience. You must be at least 18 years of age to participate. All results/responses will be kept confidental. Please read each statement carefully and respond to each question as truethfully and honest as possible. Please circle the answer that best fits you. 1. I have had feelings of fear of abandonment most of my life. 1= Strongly disagree 2= Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree 2. At some point in my life, I have felt loss, rejection, and abandonment towards my biological parents. 1=Strongly disagree 2=Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree 3. I feel that I have struggled with trust issues most of my life. 1=Strongly disagree 2=Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree 4. Do you feel that your experience as an adoptee, is different from non-adoptees? YES/NO If yes, please explain. Yes but since I have never been a non adoptee, that is just a guess 5. Have you ever felt lost, or that there was a lack of permanence in your adoptive home? YES/NO 6. Have you always known (early childhood) that you were adopted? YES/NO 7. Have you ever had negative feelings about being adopted in your lifetime? YES/NO If yes, please explain. Not about being adopted more about not also having my biological family 8. Do you have any resentments towards your biological parents? YES/NO If yes, please explain. 9. Have you ever felt the need to know or want to know your biological parents? YES/NO If yes, please explain. That is why I am in reunion 10. Do you feel that you have struggled with identity issues throughout your life? YES/NO 11. If you were raised in an adoptive family where they had biological children of their own, do you feel you were treated differently? YES/NO If yes, please explain. 12. Were your adoptive parents open and understanding about your adoption, and willing to answer your question? YES/NO If yes, please explain. 13. As an adolcent did you go through many friends? YES/NO 14. Have you ever tested a friendship or intimate relationship to see if that person could be trusted? YES/NO 15. In intimate relationships have you ever purposely sabotaged it, because you new you would get hurt sooner or later? YES/NO 16. Have you avoided intimate relationships all together? YES/NO 17. Do you have difficuties maintaining intimate relationships? YES/NO If yes, please explain.

I avoid them in a romantic sense... I test things for a long time in a friendship sense. 18. At any point in your life have you experienced any of the following: ___ Low self-esteem ___ Depression ___Learning diabilities ___ Aggressive behavior ___ Rejection

___ Identity issues If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it was related to being adopted? YES/NO 19. Do you feel that you are: ___ Shy ___ Withdrawn ___ A loner ___Afraid of conflict ___Anxious to please/people pleaser

This survey asks questions about an adult adoptees experience. You must be at least 18 years of age to participate. All results/responses will be kept confidental. Please read each statement carefully and respond to each question as truethfully and honest as possible. Please circle the answer that best fits you. 1. I have had feelings of fear of abandonment most of my life. 1= Strongly disagree 2= Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree4=Agree 2. At some point in my life, I have felt loss, rejection, and abandonment towards my biological parents. 1=Strongly disagree 2=Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree5=Strongly Agre 3. I feel that I have struggled with trust issues most of my life. 1=Strongly disagree 2=Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree4= Agree, I seem to trust too easily. 4. Do you feel that your experience as an adoptee, is different from non-adoptees? Yes YES/NO If yes, please explain.Everyone has problems with their family. As an adoptee its even harder though growing up. You are always thinking, you could have ended up with any famiy, what would it be like growing up with your bfamily, what are they doing now. There is so much, middle school was difficult emotionally when we had to do herritage stuff. There are times when you feel like you are alone in the world. 5. Have you ever felt lost, or that there was a lack of permanence in your adoptive home? YES/NO Sorta. I never felt that there was a lack of permanence, I just sometimes felt out of place. especially at big family gatherings. 6. Have you always known (early childhood) that you were adopted? YES/NO Yes, can't ever remember not knowing. 7. Have you ever had negative feelings about being adopted in your lifetime? Yes. YES/NO If yes, please explain. Mostly when I wasn't getting along with my parents. I just always felt like a part of me as missing. 8. Do you have any resentments towards your biological parents? Yes. YES/NO If yes, please explain. Now that I am in reunion, I am angry at how my bparents problems was so hard on my siblings, they had to deal with a lot that they shouldn't have at such young ages. I am also angry that not all the problems have been resolved after all these years. I used to be sad cause I felt that I wasn't wanted, not anymore though. Now I feel guilty for being the one of the three of us kids that got out. 9. Have you ever felt the need to know or want to know your biological parents? Yes. YES/NO If yes, please explain. Ever since I have known I was adopted I have wanted to meet them. Sometimes I would go through times where I wanted to meet them more than others. As I got older, I wanted to know even more. 10. Do you feel that you have struggled with identity issues throughout your life? YES/NO Yes, most defenatly. 11. If you were raised in an adoptive family where they had biological children of their own, do you feel you were treated differently? YES/NO If yes, please explain. Me and my sister were both adopted. 12. Were your adoptive parents open and understanding about your adoption, and willing to answer your question? YES/NO If yes, please explain. Sorta. My mom was sometimes. Around my dad, it was something that wasnt talked about, that was the understanding. With mom you had to catch her on the right time. Before I was in reunion, I talked about adoption with my family twice. Once when they told me when I was really young and once in high school with my mom, when she caught me going through my file. It was just something that we did not talk about in my family, it was always there but never talked about. 13. As an adolcent did you go through many friends? YES/NO Generally I hung around the same people my entire life, small school and no one ever seemed to move. I had a few close friends, but not a ton of people that I confided in. 14. Have you ever tested a friendship or intimate relationship to see if that person could be trusted? YES/NO Yes. Once I realized that I tend to trust too easily, I did a few times. I grew out of that though. 15. In intimate relationships have you ever purposely sabotaged it, because you new you would get hurt sooner or later? YES/NO yes, sorta. I always seem to sabatage relationships that I think I am getting to emotionally attached in. 16. Have you avoided intimate relationships all together? YES/NO Yes, I am 18 and I have tried as hard as I can to avoid them as much as I can. I consume myself in work, school, and my family. 17. Do you have difficuties maintaining intimate relationships? YES/NO If yes, please explain. Yes. I tend to close myself off emotionally. 18. At any point in your life have you experienced any of the following: _X_ Low self-esteem _X_ Depression ___Learning diabilities _X_ Aggressive behavior _X_ Rejection _X_ Identity issues If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it was related to being adopted? YES/NO Mostly yes. 19. Do you feel that you are: _X_ Shy _X_ Withdrawn _X_ A loner ___Afraid of conflict ___Anxious to please/people pleaser If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it is related to your adoption experience? YES/NO Yes \ Thank you for your time in taking this survey. Thank you for having this survey, it was interesting and thought provoking. Let us know how the results turn out. ~Erika

ARE YOU STILL EXCEPTING SURVEY ANSWERS, IF NOT IT WAS A GREAT TOOL TO IDENTIFY SOME OF MY EMOTIONS IF SO HOW DO I GET MY ANSWERS TO YOU?

i copy/paste my answers, can i send them to you?

1. I have had feelings of fear of abandonment most of my life. 5 1=Strongly disagree 2. At some point in my life, I have felt loss, rejection, and abandonment towards my biological parents. 1=Strongly disagree 3. I feel that I have struggled with trust issues most of my life. 1=Strongly disagree 4. Do you feel that your experience as an adoptee, is different from non-adoptees? YES If yes, please explain. It was always there that there was another parent that you had no clue about and that the government thought it was ok to pretend that the stork brought you. But I never felt abandoned. 5. Have you ever felt lost, or that there was a lack of permanence in your adoptive home? NO 6. Have you always known (early childhood) that you were adopted? YES 7. Have you ever had negative feelings about being adopted in your lifetime? YES 8. Do you have any resentments towards your biological parents? NO 9. Have you ever felt the need to know or want to know your biological parents? YES If yes, please explain. Ever since I was 16, I have wanted to tell my bmother that I understood and that she did the right thing. After I had children, I wanted to know medical information to pass down. 10. Do you feel that you have struggled with identity issues throughout your life? NO 11. If you were raised in an adoptive family where they had biological children of their own, do you feel you were treated differently? NO 12. Were your adoptive parents open and understanding about your adoption, and willing to answer your question? YES 13. As an adolcent did you go through many friends? NO 14. Have you ever tested a friendship or intimate relationship to see if that person could be trusted? NO 15. In intimate relationships have you ever purposely sabotaged it, because you new you would get hurt sooner or later? NO 16. Have you avoided intimate relationships all together? NO 17. Do you have difficuties maintaining intimate relationships? NO 18. At any point in your life have you experienced any of the following: yes Low self-esteem ___ Depression ___Learning diabilities ___ Aggressive behavior ___ Rejection ___ Identity issues If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it was related to being adopted? NO 19. Do you feel that you are: ___ Shy ___ Withdrawn ___ A loner ___Afraid of conflict yes Anxious to please/people pleaser If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it is related to your adoption experience? NO \ Thank you for your time in taking this survey.

1. I have had feelings of fear of abandonment most of my life. 1= Strongly disagree 2= Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree X 2. At some point in my life, I have felt loss, rejection, and abandonment towards my biological parents. 1=Strongly disagree 2=Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree X 5=Strongly agree 3. I feel that I have struggled with trust issues most of my life. 1=Strongly disagree 2=Disagree 3=Undecided 4=Agree 5=Strongly agree X 4. Do you feel that your experience as an adoptee, is different from non-adoptees? YES/NO If yes, please explain.YES/IN REGARDS TO MY ADOPTIVE MOTHER DYING IN 2000. I FELT AN OVERWELMING SENSE OF ABANDONMENT, AGAIN. IT FELT PERSONAL AND I FELT I WAS LEFT ALONE AGAIN. I STILL HAVENT GOT OVER THAT FEELING. I STILL HAD A MOTHER OUT THERE EVEN THOUGH THE ONE I KNEW HAD PASSED AWAY 5. Have you ever felt lost, or that there was a lack of permanence in your adoptive home? YES/NO YES 6. Have you always known (early childhood) that you were adopted? YES/NO YES 7. Have you ever had negative feelings about being adopted in your lifetime? YES/NO If yes, please explain. NO 8. Do you have any resentments towards your biological parents? YES/NO If yes, please explain.NO 9. Have you ever felt the need to know or want to know your biological parents? YES/NO If yes, please explain. YES, AT FIRST IT WAS JUST TO FIND OUT MEDICAL HISTORY, BUT WHEN MY ADOPTIVE MOM DIED SUDDENLY I FELT LIKE MAYBE I STILL HAD A CHANCE TO HAVE A MOM AND IT TURNED TO CURIOSITY ON TOP OF THE MEDICAL HISTORY 10. Do you feel that you have struggled with identity issues throughout your life? YES/NO YES 11. If you were raised in an adoptive family where they had biological children of their own, do you feel you were treated differently? YES/NO If yes, please explain. NO 12. Were your adoptive parents open and understanding about your adoption, and willing to answer your question? YES/NO If yes, please explain.YES AND NO. THEY (MOSTLY MY MOM) ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL WANTED AND LOVED, BUT SOMETIMES MY MOM WOULD NOT BE HONEST WHEN PEOPLE ASKED WHERE I GOT MY RED HAIR AND BROWN EYES. IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I THOUGHT WHY DIDNҒT SHE JUST TELL THAT PERSON INQUIRING THE TRUTH. IT WAS ALMOST LIKE SHE WAS EMBRASSED ABOUT IT. 13. As an adolcent did you go through many friends? YES/NO NO 14. Have you ever tested a friendship or intimate relationship to see if that person could be trusted? YES/NO YES/INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS 15. In intimate relationships have you ever purposely sabotaged it, because you new you would get hurt sooner or later? YES/NO YES 16. Have you avoided intimate relationships all together? YES/NO YES 17. Do you have difficuties maintaining intimate relationships? YES/NO If yes, please explain.YES, BECAUSE UP UNTIL NOW (IM MARRIED) I WOULD ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THEY WERECHEATING ON ME OR I WOULD SABATOGE IT BY CHEATING 18. At any point in your life have you experienced any of the following: _X__ Low self-esteem __X_ Depression ___Learning diabilities ___X Aggressive behavior _X__ Rejection _X__ Identity issues If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it was related to being adopted? YES/NO YES 19. Do you feel that you are: ___ Shy ___ Withdrawn ___ A loner _X__Afraid of conflict ___Anxious to please/people pleaser If you checked off any of these, do you feel that it is related to your adoption experience? YES/NO YES \ Thank you for your time in taking this survey.