HELP with Contested Adoption

OOOOK, Reading at the begin sounds strong however, I have many thoughts. First of all, The court appointed lawyer is likened to a public defender in a criminal case, IT is just another representation. Everything that you just said as far as the timeline of visitations and child support was made aware to the social worker, correct?IF so you have nothing to worry about. I would make sure that I chose my words wisely. The problem is you can not prove abandonement if he did not know where you were living or how to get ahold of you. That makes it look like you were hiding the child from him. NOw that would go for child support as well. IF he did not know where you were to pay you then he would not know where to send payment. So that is an arguement. Unless he knew where you were 1 year before you filed for adoption. and denied seing the child and paying for here support. IT is complicated without knowing all the details. I guess I need more info too know what is really going on. DId he know where you were in the past year of the adoption or not?

OK. Let me try to answer your questions. First, the social worker was made aware of everything including the visits and child support. I'll give you a detailed timeline: 06/95-Daughter born02/97- stopped communication with bio dad05/97- 1st child support payment from Child Support Dept. from garnished wages. (all payments have been thru garnished wages)TOTAL paid of child support thru 1997-$356.0006/98-Married my husband07/98-Bio dad showed up at our home got scared of my husband when he told him to first talk to him like a man but instead ran to his car and took off. Didn't see my daughter.TOTAL wages garnished in 1998: $011/99-Showed up at my daughter's Pre-K and spent the day in her class. Luckily I happened to be there that day volunteering in class, but he did talk to her, but she doesn't remember that day. She took him as just a person in her class.TOTAL garnished wages in 1999: $1,293.00No other attempts to see her have been madTOTAL garnished wages in 2000: $175.00 Garnished Taxes: $627.87TOTAL Garnished wages in 2001 & 2002: $0TOTAL Garnished wages in 2003: $411.48 Garnished Taxes: $105.30TOTAL Garnished wages in 2004: $1,786.4609/04-Moved to my current address. Where he didn't have direct knowledge of. However I was able to find myself online foe $39.95 using only my maiden name. I was able to get my address and phone number and under possible aquantainces my mother came with her phone number and adderess. If that counts for anything.01/05-Filed Adoption Agreement05/05-met with social worker06/05-social worker contacted bio dad by mail and he responded stating that he is not in agreement with the adoption and thathe wishes to be a part of "his daughter's" life. (BS)Total Garnished wages were in 02/2005 one check for: $32.1202/06-Served bio dad Citaion Re Adoption03/06-Received social worker report Recommending Conditional approval until biological's Parental rights are terminated.04/03/06: Went to court01/06-Present: $0 I really feel that the olny reason he is persuing this is because of me. I know for a fact the his interest in my daughter is insignificant to him. Tell me what you honestly think. Should I get a lawyer? THANX

I would not rush in and get a lawyer, you could do it on your own.The social worker is suppose to also make a recomendation as far as whether she feels the rights should be terminated as well. Honestly he the adoption does seem like it should go through. However, make sure you let them know about the fact that you found yourself. All this time they had been garnishing his wages and he made no attempt to see her. THat does account for something. Also when he found out about the plans for your husband to adopt her he could have filed paperwork to see her. He said no to the adoption however just walked away like it was not going to happen after he said no. KNow that the judge does see this on a daily basis . I would make sure that the issues are raised. I am unsure of how the hearing goes because ours was not contested. But your daughter has a lawyer he has a lawyer and so bringing in a third lawyer would not do much. Your daughter if questioned by the judge is going to say I do not even know this guy. And it is about the childs best interests not what the bio dad feels is right. Alot of times it is about selfishness and that. To prepare yourself for the hearing make sure you go over every excuse he may try to use that says why he did not contact your daughter sooner in her life, whether it be he was afraid of your husband or whatever. If he has a criminal history make sure to look it up. Your abandonement is not based on the fact that he has not provided support as much as it is the no contact for years. Make sure the courts know that when he showed up to her class she did not even know who he was and it was like he was just trying to observe her which would be fine if he was trying to establish a relationship with her however that was not his intentions and he dissappeared once again. Your husband never threatened the man in any way, correct? This BF sounds like an abandoner but sometimes it is amazing how they could just walk away from their child. Hope this helps. Seek a lawyer if you feel like it however the process is almost over and you got this far without a lawyer, the only reason the hearing was sent and lawyers were appointed is because the bf has rights as well and they have to give him a certain amount of time to come up with a reason why he did in fact abandone his child and ask the courts to give him a chance now that someone else is interested in his trophy.

Thanks a whole lot. I've always felt confident in our case, but it was a huge disappointment when he showed and the lawyers were appointed. I didn't expect the lawyer thing and the 2 month delay. But my husband was the positive one, telling me it will be okay, but I still have to worry. We just want this chapter closed and continue with our lives. Question. Regarding a criminal record, I don't know if he has one. Do you know of a way to check?Thanks. I feel better now!

Just a note om why your daughter has a lawyer... The courts appoint a separate attorney for a child in any case of custody, visitation, etc., so that someone has the child's best interest in mind. This is not to say that you don't have her best interest in mind, but it is you against your ex, and the courts want to make sure that an independent person decides what is best for your daughter. Usually it is that lawyer's recommendation that the court's go by.

Thanks. I understand that, but what exactly does he do? The day in court, he called her in and spoke to her for about 10 minutes and gave her his bussiness card and that was all. He didn't say a word to us. And after I was so angry, I didn't think to talk to him, but am I suppose to call him or does he just see her at the next court day and that's all? I know he asked her questions like what's your favorite subject? etc. and then more serious questions like Do you know your father? and she said no. If my husnband was nice to her? etc. Do you have any experience in that.

Depending on what county you are in. I know in my county there is a website to look at to find out the criminal record thing.I should say that you need to know what counties he lived in. Arrest records are public knowledge and anyone can know. Let me know what county you are in. I would call the lawyer and explain your questions. Find out if he needs to talk to her again before the trial, ask him the questions. I do not know what the experience is with the lawyer thing but asking questions could not hurt anything. Obviously, I think your daughter is at the age that she has a heavy pull in what happens in her life, her opinion counts. A lot of the time asking the child allows for the judge to know whether there is brainwashing or things going on.

Thanks. I'm going to call the lawyer and ask him. But regarding BF counties where he has lived it has only been in Los Angeles I'm pretty sure of that. He still lives at home. Moma's boy you know. That's where I was able to have him served. If you know that website I would appreciate it. Thanks again.

I was abble to access this web address. Unfortunately it cost money to research, in my local counties it is free. SO it is up to you whether you want to use it or not. You can also go down to the criminal records dept at the local courts, that cost money to get the printouts as well. It is only 4 dollars per search here. HE still lives with mom and he is how old? And grandparents have wanted nothing to do with her either? Hope this helps [url]https://www.lasuperiorcourt.org/OnlineServices/criminalindex/index.asp[/url]

YEAH...he still lives with mom and in his mom's eyes he can do no wrong. I was 15 when I was pregneant and was forced to move into there house. She was just as mean as they get. Me being pregneant was ALL my fault. "I ruinned her little boy's life". Pleeease! And NO his mother never tried anything as far as with my daughter. Me and his older sister were very close for a long time. She was even my maid of honor. Once I moved to my current address, she had a boyfriend and we just lost touch. But that's how I know he definately had access to where I have been up until the last couple of years. Well thank you so much for the info. I am going to do that now. Thanks again.

Thank for the info. I looked him up and unfortunately I couldn't dig up any dirt. He has 1 DUI and many driving w/suspended or revoked license and speeding violations, but that is it. Nothing big. Oh well. But thanks a lot for the info.

You should still do fine though. Obviously you can probably tag him as a drunk who can not hold a job long enough to take care of a child anyways, He is only coming now because of the adoption. Hope the next few months are relaxing to you.

Well...the "guardian ad litem or GAL" as they call your child's lawyer, asks questions of the child...and usually of the parents too...to determine how everyone feels about things...who wants what, etc...and determines the best course of action based on that info.... I haven't had one in the adoption case, as we haven't started it yet...but had one in both custody cases with my husband's children In one case...the GAL talked to my husband, the child's mother, and the child...after they had had a few visits, to see how things were going...then decided my husband could have no more contact with his daughter until she went to counseling (because he hadn't seen her in many years--her mother wouldn't let him and he couldn't afford to go to court until recently..and her mother told her many lies about my husband), but her mother still won't take her to counseling...so we are still fighting with that in court... In the other case, my husband's ex died, and we filed for custody. The maternal grandparents fought us on custody, so they talked to his son, to the grandparents and to my husband about a lot of things...where everyone lives, whether we would give the grandparent's visitation, everyone's lifestyles..etc..to determine the best place for his son to live...she talked to his son to see what his feelings would be about moving in with us (since we are across the country from the grandparents and have only had contact for the last year since his mother hid him as well) The GAL's recommendation is what the court went with in both cases

I am in the midst of a case that sounds remarkably similar to this and would appreciate hearing your outcome. If you'd be willing to share I would be very greatful. Thanks =)