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Linny
There are already people in the system who have told the one son (who was arrested) that 'disruptions are NEVER the fault of the child, they are ALWAYS the fault of the adoptive family." REALLY???????
So....don't sign any such paperwork admitting (in a sense) that YOU did something wrong. I daresay that few systems actually prepare their parents for some of the nightmares that often occur with older child adoptions. And.....clearly, if something goes awry, I've yet to see where the system came in to protect the innocent children already in a family. Instead, they try to guilt the adoptive family into going through nightmares for everyone.......while saying, "You should have known! After all....this child WAS abused!"
Linny
Linny - you are right about where blame is placed. Where is the blame on the people who abused and neglected thesechildren to the point where they may be unsalvageable? NOT in any way to mean that there is not hope - only that in so many cases children are abused/neglected to the point that they are unable to heal. Why don't we, as a society, place the blame where it squarely belongs?
I agree - don't sign any paperwork admitting fault and I would turn around and question the SW or system that did not provide appropriate information and assistance.
I am soooo sorry about this.