Another failed adoption and a BAD day!

I'm sorry this match didn't work out. Her reason of wanting to be physically closer to her child is understandable though. I can see a first parent wanting to be closer to the child for many reasons, and don't see that as selfish, but rather a way for her to feel better about contact and keeping in touch etc. I'm sure that no matter what reason she gave, it wouldn't lessen the pain for you. If she had parented, or if she'd said it just didn't feel right or etc. Nothing would make you feel better about it. So maybe it would help to focus less on the reasons why this match didn't work and just go ahead and grieve for the "what could have been" in general, kwim? Not easy and I'm sorry you are going through this.