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Hi everyone. I got Baby Boy, a foster newborn on May 31. Have been too stressed and sleep deprived to write. Baby Boy came to me because of another momma on this board, to whom I am eternally grateful. Before that, another momma tried to help me. In December, I helped friends from my parenting class find their little toddler. So see, if they would let the foster parents run things, the system would be better! I am single so taking care of a newborn has been TOUGH. The first night, I was crying and wishing for a husband. Then I realized, I could have a husband who was an idiot, or one who was nice but no help with a baby. My own mom is here this weekend. Thank God. And this time, I was very honest with my friends and admitted I needed their help. For more experienced moms: Is Baby Boy EVER going to sleep through the night? Oh my God. I feel continually jet lagged. I have him at least till the court hearing on July 6. Parents are teens. Their families are wacky, but in the scheme of things, I am not sure HOW wacky. I really, really, really want to keep Baby Boy. But this is foster (with hope of adoption). In my head, I know there is a 50 percent chance I will lose him. But my heart is not hearing this. Oh I can't even THINK about him leaving. Sigh. At least I know the date of the hearing and can prepare myself then. Right now, I am too tired. In the supermarket the other day, I spaced out in the cheese aisle. I was like, "I know I like cheese. But what kind??" So far, Baby Boy and I have: Gone to the WIC office;Visited my office; Shopped in Target; Ate lunch out. Yesterday, he had first supervised visit with Teen Parents since leaving hospital. We all survived. I took a long nap while he was gone. Sigh. This is hard and wonderful at the same time. Oh and he is HEALTHY, which is great. The same day I accepted placement of Baby Boy, I got another call for a 20-month old boy. Then yesterday, I got a call about Hispanic little brothers. When it rains, it pours. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I believe in God and know that if it is God's plan (and the judge's) that Baby Boy return to his wacky family, I will have to accept it. But, sigh. Sigh.
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Baby Boy is in his crib so I have approximately 1.8 minutes to check e-mail. Okay, I love being a foster mommy but am still really tired a lot. He is sleeping better but not all through the night. I find that I am completely craving donuts and chocolate ice cream. I mean, I actually find myself thinking about donuts. Is this from stress? I need to be watching my sugar, but all I can think about are donuts and ice cream! That is not all I eat but YUM when I do. Anyone else go through this? It's like pregnancy cravings, but foster mommy cravings. Hee.
Okay. I polished off a quart of butter pecan ice cream this weekend. My normally placid little 11 month old was verrrrrrrrry cranky from a stomach bug and fever. And yes, I am still tired. I was told that once he was able to get around by himself and be more independent things would get easier . . .wrong!!! Yes, he likes to play by himself, but prefers the infinitely more fascinating world of electrical outlets, any possible furniture that he could tip easily over on to himself, open garbage cans, toilets etc. than his own toys. Not to mention that I have to constantly come up with new ideas to trick him into trying new foods, yet he'll gladly introduce any old thing he finds on the floor into his mouth for a taste testing.:eek: Anyway, gotta go pick up the little angel from day care now; hmmm . . . chocolate chip mint tonight?:flower: Mary
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I did NOT eat a donut today. I thought about it but did NOT eat a donut. Even though we were in the supermarket and there was a Dunkin' Donuts right there!!!!! Now I am thinking of a chocolate kreme donut......... No. I ate a peach instead. I actually got a semi-decent amount of sleep last night. I really do think there must be a link between being really really tired and craving sugar. Cortisol or something, right?
The Little Dude is still with me. He just turned 9 months old. His favorite toy is a plastic spatula. And the electrical cords, except that I won't LET him chew the electrical cords, so they are his favorite fantasy toy. MUUUUUUCCCCHHHHH drama from the parents. Too much to describe here. But I am hanging in. Permanency hearing should be sometime in May. I am hoping/expecting/hoping the case plan to be changed from reunification to adoption with me. Keep your fingers crossed. Darth Vader here is me, as I slash through silly DYFS red tape and rules with my light saber.:darth:
Just re-read this. Wanted to remember what it was like when I first got my little guy, right from the hospital. I am so glad I posted in this thread because I DON'T REMEMBER most of this. Sheesh those first few weeks with a baby/new placement are exhausting, aren't they:)But Baby Boy is now 4 1/2 and is playing on my iPad as I type this. So our story has a happy ending. Well, unless he downloads some $100 game on my iPad!!:dance:
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Congratulations!!! I can feel your excitement just by reading your post! Our FD started sleeping through the night at about 3 months, then she started waking up hungry in the middle of the night again so she started cereal a couple weeks ago and began sleeping thru the night again. Thrilled for you! We want to keep our baby girl, too...we prayed for a little baby girl to adopt. She's been with us basically her whole life and there's only been one supervised visit w/ bio mom back in March. The compliancy hearing is set for June 19th. So we can understand your feelings about wanting to keep Baby Boy. We'll be praying all works out in your favor! Sooo happy for you!
Thank you. I DO need to print out these entries,My son just turned six. He is happy, energetic and healthy.The main challenge has been his ADHD. It is kicking my butt! Trying to find the rights meds and ways to deal with his behavior is tricky. Sometimes I do find myself silently cursing his birth parents for passingon this crap genetically. (I know it's uncharitable, but I'm human.)One thing for which I am grateful is that I pushed for and got the monthly adoption subsidy. My son is Caucasian and wasn't born drug addicted or anything so he was considered "healthy." But I had to deal with sleep apnea, ear tube surgery, tomsillectomy and now the counseling and doctor's involved with ADHD. SO glad I have that monthly stipend to help.Just learned that his birth parents had another baby. Since they did an Identified Surrender to me and are older (and hopefully wiser), there should be no problem with this child. Still, I worry. I look at all the crap that went on with my son and his birth parents that first year and I worry for is new baby. The two of them still have their issues and screwed up families. Also it saddens me that he will grow up without her.But I tried being in touch with the birth parents and it did NOT work. So he will have to wait till he is older. All I can do is mentally wish them well and pray for their new baby.Overal, yes, my story is a happy one. It sure had its problems and still does but I have a wacky little son to keep me company every day:)
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Hey RR, I remember your old posts as you got your little guy about a year after I received mine. Its good to hear post adoption stories when the kids are older; my son (6 yo) is also diagnosed ADHD and the journey is very frustrating. I had to pull him out of kindergarten for a year, but last year he was assigned an aide and that seemed to help. This summer he's in camp without an aide and he has decompensated. I'm trying everything I can before I try drugs (brain repatterning, krill oil, amino acids etc.) but first grade will probably be the real test. Luckily he has been very medically healthy, and he really is a sweetheart. PM me if you need to vent; maybe you're in my area?
I made the decision NOT to renew my foster-parent license when it expires next month. That was a really, really hard decision to make. But after 7 years of dealing with DYFS, i need a break.I still want a second child but am now not so sure that being a DYFS foster parent is the way to achieve that goal. Maybe private adoption. I don't know. I am 45 with a 6-yr-old. Am I too old for a newborn and a first grader? Maybe. Maybe in a year, I will become a foster mom again and take in an older child - like 4 or 5. I dunno.I do know I want to get off the DYFS roller coaster for awhile. I think that last straw was in March when I was seriously considered by the Trenton Adoption Unit for a baby that had been abandoned in Newark. I let my heart really open up and the baby went to another family. That whole experience just wore me out.So for now, it is just Little Dude and I as a family. Taking down the crib in his room was hard. But I am gonna fix it up to make it more of a room for my son - space that is all his.And in another year or so, maybe there will be room for another kid in our family.Thanks for taking this journey with me.