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After hours and hours of research to see if I am normal, I have realized that GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction) between adult reunited siblings is actually a misnomer.
Through my research, I found that the Westermarck imprinting theory sounds very logical. But, after 40 years of not knowing your sibling, let alone even knowing they exist, there is no such imprinting occuring.
Granted, I would love to have experienced throwing toys at them, getting pushed down the stairs etc.... all in a bid for mothers attention.
That would make a great Nuclear Family story. The real truth is that after 40 years, the only thing I have challenged my siblings with, is love, affection, respect and a sense of belonging.
All of them being normal reactions to a reunion. I would say that when mothers and sons, or dads and daughters reunite even as mature adults, the limits of sexual contact are, even in my mind, very defined.
Even the lines between siblings are well defined socially. But this doesn't seem to apply in the case of adoptive reunions as the Westermarck imprinting process has never had the years to evolve in the individuals.
After 40 years of wondering, I was finally reunited with my mom, many of my siblings (I am one of 10 and have met all but 4). Unfortunately dad passed away nearly 20 years ago.
There is 1 sister that I have bonded with very well. We are both in our 40's, single and our days of bearing children are well past (due to sterilization).
The part I find frustrating, is that we both have very strong emotional bonds to each other that have taken on an almost flirtatious nature. We both enjoy it, and have talked openly about it.
But yet it considered by most immoral to act upon those feelings and in most states, if not all, sexual relations would be illegal.
There are many differing viewpoints on the subject. The fact that we would be 2 consenting adults, acting in privacy seems to have the moral majority up in arms.
Yet, when we met, we had no prior history, and found a genuine attraction for each other. I know, a lot of you are going to say that it's the self-love effect on ego that pushes this along. Maybe it is, but I do not tend to be of the narcissistic nature. (Yes, she and I look the most alike of the siblings and we are all half siblings)
Throughout my life, I have experienced many intimate relations in which I had emotional feelings for the woman I was dating or married to (no, not at the same time).
This seems no different to me other than the social and legal ramifications of pursuing it any further.
So, I guess the real question is this:
If you get rid of the reproductive argument, simple prejudice, the ewww or ick factor etc, what is the real and logical reason this should be forbidden? And, why should the states restrict consenting adults in the privacy of their own home, especially if procreation is not possible?
To some I may sound sick, to others maybe as my name says, but for her and I, it can be a beautiful part of our life where we can share together.
Thanks for listening and good luck to all you searching.
Sexual relationships by themselves do not build strong bonds. So my question to you is do you want a long lasting relationship with her? If the answer is yes, then do not go forward with a sexual relationship. Many of us out here have experienced sexual feelings toward our mothers, sisters and so forth. For me it was toward my son. Reuniun is a powerful state that will stir many emotions. Is it wrong? The feelings are not, they are very real and well, healthy. Acting on them IMHO is wrong. And this to will pass. Give it time, if you do make the choice to explore these feelings, I would suggest waiting, and thinking long and hard before acting on them.
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Hi, my brother and i are going through the same thing. I knew about him all my life and looked for him. He found me. We are both in our 30's. I find it reasurring that others are experiencing the same thing. We are lucky, i guess, because we realised early on and were able to let each other know how we felt. We can talk openly to each other, and it's just as well because i am sure it would freak people out, the people who don't understand because they have not got a clue what it feels like. Thankyou for posting your message.Kimberley
:wings: It is hard, but we are not freaks, you are not the only ones going through this. I want to thank lost soul for posting his message. If you are happy and it is mutual you are lucky, embrace it.