Adoptees who feel unworthy or unwanted?

[FONT=Georgia]to discover their self-worth in their own way[/FONT] thank you heartbeat... I really think that is it

Thank you guys very much. :wings: I worry about talking too much or offending. I'm glad to know this post was just right. Warmly, heartbeat

I have felt hurt. I have a "natural" sibling that was conceived shortly after my adoption. No one in this triad is responsible for that feeling. It just is. We (adoptees) are all unique and have different feelings. However, I want to tell you this - My aparents (in your words) are not that. They are my parents (no qualification) and always will be. I am not discrediting the choice my birth mother made and will always want to have a connection with her and respect her decision. You love your child (and she is your daughter). Simply continue on that path and if birth parents come along, do not hide it from her. She will not think or feel less for you, unless you do keep that person(s) from her.

I am an adoptee who was picked up by my parents at the hospital at 6 days old. I have an older brother who is their "biological" son. I personally have never felt unloved. In fact, my entire family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) probably went a little overboard to insure that I never felt unloved or unwanted. I am now almost 33 and still I hear from both parents (they are divorced) almost daily...most days it's more than that. They almost smother me sometimes. They told me that I was adopted when I was very young and I don't remember not knowing (in fact, I ran around telling everyone because I thought it was cool). They continually told me that they "picked me out" and that being adopted made me special. I even still have a gold necklace charm that is a heart with the word special in it. I don't remember them really ever bringing it up unless I asked a question, which they readily answered. I never felt like they treated me any differently than they did my brother. I was just theirs. Plain and simple. I went through a small period in my adult life when I had a fear of abandonment. I'm not sure why, because no one in my life has ever left me, in fact I have tons of friends and family and I am very lucky. I don't remember them EVER telling me that they wished they hadn't gotten me, even when in my teen years I was telling them I hated them :). I honestly don't think it ever entered their mind or mine. Maybe other adoptees parents made them feel like they owed them something for adopting them, or said things in anger sometimes? I don't know. I don't think adoptees are the only people who feel unloved though. I think many children raised by their biological parents probably feel the same way. Maybe I was just lucky. Sometimes I feel too loved! If that is possible. ;)

I have been placed with the most wonderful family now since I was an infant. They have loved me like no other and have gave me everything I have wanted in life and I love them so much. However,recently I have looked up my birth mother online and seen she has a new family and for som reason that has made me angry? I am now currently the age my birth mother was when she gave birth to me and I have placed myself in the position and I would make it work. Does anybody have any advice on how f get over this anger and also on how to deal with the pain on feelin unwanted in every aspect of life? I find myself settling for second best just because I know I'm not worth it if the woman that was destined to love me would give me up?