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Dear Ursula,
Would you consider getting another professional opinion? My very-unprofessional opinion is that I am concerned that your daughter's issue was met with a "consider yourself lucky" attitude and medicine was recommended. That's what scares me the most, I guess, the Benadryl suggestion. Masking her fears with a deeper sleep won't really work through them, will it? Someone with much more experience may tell me I am wrong, but...
Just my thoughts... Hoping things get better for the little one. Our son game home at 2 1/2 too (but had no night terrors), pm if you want to discuss toddler adoption.
Take care,
Rhonda