Yesterday we had to tell our kids that their bio mom had a new baby (ok 6 months ago).... We just found out. AD has lots of worries about drugs because she knows her mom uses (used to watch) and lost them because of it. Last night we had a long talk about it, answering her questions as much as we could, and starting the dialog of making good choices about that knowing it can be genetic.
AD is now expressing concern about her mom dying because of doing drugs (not something we mentioned). Does anyone have any resources that might help us/her with this? We have semi-open contact (letters/photos) so no direct contact (AD hasn't seen her in almost 5 years).
Its so tough.. We have been going through something similar (my brother apparently od'd; J's bm is currently an active addict )
I don't think there's a good answer. Best I can figure out - don't put ideas in their head (that was for me more than you.. i was worried she'd make this leap of logic), acknowledge their fears, and try to put the fears into perspective
best of luck to you *hugs*
Is you daughter old enough to go to a support group for the children of addicts, such as Alateen or the nar version? If so, they could be of great help.
You may want to point out to your daughter that while some people do die from drugs, many recover and many others struggle with addiction but don't die. I think that sometimes the anti-drug campaigns in the schools and media--the "drugs are death" message--while helpful in steering kids from drugs, can give an unintended scare message.
I don't know how old your daughter is or what substances her mother is addicted to--which could make a great difference--but the main thing now is to reassure her that her mother isn't necessarily going to die, and she isn't necessarily going to die.
The websites for Al Anon and Narc Anon have great resources for families who struggle with the addiction of family members, including children. Also, depending upon where you live, there are various services for the families of addicts, including hospitals, public health services, and so on, that could steer you to the right resources.
And--while I'm not pushing 12-Step programs on anyone and don't necessarily agree with all they say (and not all programs are 12 Step)--I'd just like to respectfully suggest that since this addiction is impacting the entire family, you might find it helpful for yourself to explore some of the resources and support available to the families of addicts, as this addiction is impacting your family as a whole.
Hope I'm not saying this the wrong way. I do think that reassuring your daughter that not all people who abuse substances die from that is most crucial at this point.