what questions should I ask the birth mother?

First of all, you would be asking questions of an expectant Mother, not a birthmother. A woman is a full fledged Mother until she signs the TPR. Referring to her as such will foster respect between the two of you. Secondly, there are varying statistics on how many women decide to parent as opposed to place their child after the baby is born. It is their right to do so, however, and that must be kept in mind at all times. As an expectant Mom, I preferred to do a lot of the question asking during the first phone call. After all, I was the one making the decision and wanted to cover my most important bases (family, thoughts on education, religion, etc). Every expectant Mother is going to have different priorities regarding a potential family for her child. Let her lead the conversation and then, when she prompts or there is a lapse in conversation, ask her things that she wants for the child. Ask her things that you would want to tell the child later in life like her favorite color. Ask her what drew her to your profile and discuss those aspects of your lives in greater detail. Best of luck!