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The good news is that a lot of bipolar adults are exceedingly intelligent and creative. They may be a bit of a pain sometimes, with grandiose ideas and excessive enthusiasm in the manic phase, and a bit of over over-the-top anger and sadness in the depressed phase, but with medication and therapy, things can even out enough to let them become highly productive. I had the privilege of working with a bipolar man who graduated from one of the best business schools in the U.S., was a marketing genius, and helped to revolutionize the way his chosen industry did business. Yes, I once watched him give an absolutely loopy performance that, though designed to encourage some very senior businesspeople to support one of his projects, wound up making them exchange looks like, "What the H*** is he smoking?" And, yes, I was once a victim of one of his tirades about what terrible work project staff were doing, and wound up bursting into tears when I left his office and headed across town to mine -- and I'm not easily reduced to tears. But when I learned from a colleague about his disorder, it all made sense, and I developed an enormous respect for how well he functioned on a day to day basis. He was married, though he had some affairs. He had close male friends, who were very senior in their lines of work and a lot more conventional. He had a brilliant mind and strong leadership skills that he put to good use. He's dead now, from cancer, but he left a big footprint in his community and industry.I imagine that people parenting a bipolar teen won't always have it easy. In the manic phase, many indulge in risky behaviors, like having a lot of casual sexual encounters or participating in extreme sports/recreational activities or trying to convince their friends to participate in a get-rich-quick scheme. In their depressive phase, many turn to drugs or alcohol to self-medicate, actually making themselves feel worse, and suicide attempts may occur. But if parents know what to look for and get the teen linked up with excellent psychiatric resources, he or she may well turn out to be quite a superstar in his/her chosen field. Eccentric? Certainly. Annoying? Certainly. But often very sensitive, very caring, and very capable of managing real world challenges.Sharon
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My birth parents both were diagnosed with schizophrenia. Both also used heroin. There's not one person, including the multitude of doctors they both saw, what was the cause of the mental illness, and what was the effect. I've ended up diagnosed with bipolar & OCD, both of which have strong hereditary origins. I've also been diagnosed with generalized anxiety and specific phobias which are probably more environmental. Then there's the insecure attachment patterns, which are glaringly situational. Nobody gave my parents a money back guarantee. In fact, nobody even bothered to tell my parents there was a family history of mental illness. I am guessing it wouldn't have changed their mind about the placement (I'd say 98% sure!) but I like to think it may have made some difference in my ability to receive treatment early on. As of yet there is no genetic test, CAT scan, or other physical way of telling if an individual has bipolar disorder or the predisposition toward it. There is simply a checklist of behaviors that they change every 20 years or so (DSM-V is coming out soon, and the diagnostic criteria is strikingly different than the DSM-IV). What it ultimately comes down to is risk. Is the risk of not being a parent greater than the risk of having a child with a mental illness (or some other form of disability)? Because that's basically what it comes down to. The risks are higher with adoption--despite the fact that I will probably get flamed--it's my personal opinion supported heavily by anecdotal observations that many parents who make an adoption plan do so because of life challenges triggered by a mental illness. But risks with giving birth are there as well--two of my (adopted) cousins, both on different sides of the family and thus not at all related biologically, had children with spina bifida. Neither knew there was a family history, though spina bifida also has a genetic link. You can worry about it, stress about it, hopefully you will educate yourself about it--but when it comes down to it, if it happens you will deal with it, in one way or another. And to second the comment on joking about it--what's up with that anyway? Most people wouldn't think of joking about a visible handicap and yet even my family members who know I have bipolar disorder joke about it and expect me to think it's funny. Yet another wonderful aspect about having an invisible illness. I'm on a soap box (actually still in recovery after a manic episode)...excuse the possibility that aspects of this thread make little to no sense.
Last update on August 19, 6:35 pm by AdoptionForumGGirl AdoptionForumGGirl.