I am an adult who was raised in an open adoption!!!

Hi, Ferney. When I adopted my niece's toddler, I became part of an open adoption by circumstance if not by choice. I hope that I have taken steps to ensure that my daughter does not suffer the confusion or isolation that seems to have been your lot in life. We see my niece, who I love very much, but not often. When we do talk with her, she is ALWAYS called by her name not a title she formerly held. I am and always will be Mom without any asterisk for my adoptive status. In our family, we all agree* that my niece stopped being Her Sweetness' mother on the day she was TPR'd. Although she is legally my daughter's cousin now, my niece acts more like a favorite aunt or family friend who has a special affection for my child. She does NOT, however, get to take my daughter away from our home for any reason. My niece comes from a branch of my family tree that is as riddled with dysfunction as the biofamily that you describe. I once thought that she had managed to grow up healthy despite the handicaps of her birthfamily, but I was wrong. She is infected with the same personality disorders and addictions as her parents. It is out of the question that we would ever allow her or biogranny to care for our daughter. We all know and acknowledge my daughter's origins -- and some day she will want to know the whole story -- but I hope that knowing her biofamily will help her understand that she was blessed to get a second chance ... and so was biomom! For this, we are all eternally grateful. DeeCee *Okay. Almost all of us agree. My sister, the biogranny is still full of rage over the injustice she feels was done to her and her daughter. She used to say things like, "Take this to your Mommy," meaning my niece; but Her Sweetness would smile and comply by taking it to me. :love: My niece and I would just roll our eyes and wonder if her mother was ever going to get it. But we don't have the problem now because my sister was banned from our home after one particularly vitriolic tirade about my complicity in the crime of child-stealing that ended with a death threat. None of us miss her very much.