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We are getting approved to adopt two babies, either gender. Can those of you that have adopted twins give me pros and cons? I really really would like a twin referral, but being a first time mom, don't want to take on more than I can handle, either.
I would love to hear your experiences!
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Hi Beachy,
We adopted twin daughters and have been home about a month and a half. I really can't give pros & cons as, we too are first time parents so we have no idea what it is like to have only a singleton but what I can tell you is that it is WAY harder than we thought that it would be but WAY worth it:cloud9: ! The girls were about 7 1/2 months old when we came home and the transition was a little difficult for them ... and us! By this I mean that they didn't sleep at the same time .... one was up at about 4am every morning for an hour -- yup, exactly 60 minutes! then would sleep wuntil about 6 or 630 BUT the other one was awake at about 5 every day .... naps were few and far between and if they took one maybe for about a 1/2 hr to an hr TOPS. We were VERY fortunate because my mother was able to come and stay with us for a couple weeks and Jay was able to take time off of work but once she left and he went back to work .... OH MY GOODNESS! Last night was the FIRST night that I slept for 5 straight hours.
But this may be different than what you experience. If you have another parent in the house (I can't tell ... I think that you said "we" but ...
:cool: ) and they are willing to help out A LOT .... you will know when you receive the referral. When our agency called us to tell us they had twins there was no hesitation in either of us. The only caution that we had, andit was an after thought, was $$$$$ because, yes, it is double the cost for the adoption and for everything else! Our adoption costs, including travel and everything totals about $60,000. We were just talking about this the other day and we can't imagine only having one or remember what life was like before but it is a big decision.
I hope that this helps you out some ... perhaps talk to your local chapter of AMOM (a mom of multiples) they are a national group and they will be able to offer you words of wisdom from people who have been there and done that.
If you have any other questions ... please feel free to ask away although via private email is better because we are getting ready to move and I have not got much time to visit the forums.
Good luck in your decision!
Maura.
I have not adopted twins, but let me say to anyone who has...I AM INSANELY JEALOUS!!!! I wanted them so bad. I will have to live vicarously through you guys.
We are adopting twins - the nice thing is that you get two babies with this long adoption process. We were not even thinking of twins ( we only asked for one ) but when the agency called we jumped in and have never looked back. It is double work and but a double blessing.
We have adopted little ones that are like twins, 5 days apart. It has been wondererful but I could see that it would have been too much for me if it were my first babies. We have a large fmaily, 11 children. I have many older children at home who can baby sit and help me. I think you are doing the right thing by thinking this all through. Is your spouse able to help you frequently? What is your work schedule etc. I do think two infants twin would be much easier then an older child and an infant. Also the process is challenging and it would be nice to get two at once. Not everyone is qualified or willing to take two children at once. It did not work out with us with the last adoption but we have a real heart for sibling or relative adoption. Previously we have adopted siblings from Guatemala that are now teens and we also adopted a girl and later her boy cousin. If you are qualified for two it is nice to be able to give a little set like that a home together. Just my thoughts. Anna
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Well, I won't be working once the baby (ies) come home and my husband is self-employed so he would definitely help out. My inlaws and BIL also live about 10 minutes from here so I'm pretty sure they would all help out too.
We have twin girls adopted from Kazakhstan when they were 16 months old. I had two biological singletons. Yes, twins are a great deal of work, but oh so very worth it. I marvel at them everyday. As they get older, it is like they have their best friend living with them and they are inseparable, so they keep themselves busy. If I could, I would do it again in a heartbeat.
I did not adopt twins but I have bio twins who are now 6 1/2. They were our first children. Twins are wonderful and I would never chage having them but they are also hard. I liked having them first because we never knew what it was like with only 1 baby. My husband also helps out so much because he just had to when they were little. I have to say that many stages are wonderful with twins and challanging but the most challanging time was the first 6 months....hands down. Since the chances of bringing your children home before 6 months right now is not high (gotta love PGN...NOT) you will likely skip that period unless you foster. I have to say I liked having twins so much that we tried really hard to have the boys close in age (from my timeline you can see that didn't work too well). Good luck with whatever you decide. Twins have a really neat relationship but there are unique challanges too.
Jess
We adopted twin girls from Guatemala in 2005. We're just starting the process again and I'd love to adopt twins again -- but my husband says no. :rolleyes:
First of all, these were my first babies so I can't compare to having just one. I think that actually makes it easier -- not knowing any better -- and you'd be in the same boat.
Sure it's a lot of work, but it is so fun! I fostered them for two months alone in Antigua and did just fine. I never felt overwhelmed -- just a little tired at times. Our girls just turned two and they are great playmates. I think being twins is very special -- but it is even more so when you are adopted.
Also, twins move through as one case - obviously. However, if you take two referrals that are unrelated, they move through the process separately so one could come home much sooner than the other. Just something to think about....
I would definitely encourage you to do it. Since you will be at home with the babies, you may as well stay home with two! Also, having family nearby will be a great benefit and it sounds like your husband is open to it. :cheer:
The ONLY negative is the cost. Like someone else said, it was an expensive endeavor, but we've never regretted it.
Please PM me if you have any questions!
Good luck!
Sara
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We're adopting like twins. Our referrals are 3 days apart, a boy and a girl. The agency we're working said that they will make sure that the cases stay on the same schudle so we only have to make one visit and one pick up trip. We're visiting next month and I can't wait! I know it will be harder than I can imagine, but it will also be that much more rewarding to see two little ones everyday.
My twins have been home since right after their first birthday. I would tell you to go for it! :cheer: The boys are my only children, so I didn't have anything else to compare it to. They are--without a shodaw of a doubt--the best thing that ever happened to me. Being single, I would say that organization is the biggest factor in being able to get everything done.
We just brought home our twin daughters two months ago (they came home at 6 months old). We also have a 23 month old daughter (from GUA). We were not expecting to adopt twins...it's kind of crazy how it came to be. In short, we were given the opportunity to adopt twins (originally we were told they were twin boys). We prayed about it and felt God was leading us to accept. So, here we are with THREE beautiful daughters (that's right...they came out as girls, not boys!) all within 15 months of each other. Some days are good and some are not so good...I think it's that way with one or two children. I can remember last year being "stressed" out some days with my ONE daughter and then this year being stressed out with all three. So, I think if you're adopting one or twins, you'll have GREAT days, good days, and some not so good days where you feel like you've lost your mind. BUT, in the end, it is so worth it!! We feel totally blessed!!! So, my opinion is to GO FOR IT!!! :)
Hi, just wanted to let you know that my agency has twin girls that they just put on the photo listing. I will pm you with the web address to see them. It's very rare to get twins. I first had twins as a referral but their birth family changed their mind about placing them. I would try for these twins but I already got a referral for a baby girl about a month ago, who I am fostering now. They said they would give me another referral for a second girl or a boy, but, one baby is a lot of work and the fees are doubled with a second baby. I still get tempted though :rolleyes:
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I do not have twins, I was a post partum doula for mothers of multiples. My job was to get the mom on a schedule and support her adjustment to twins(or more). All of the moms I worked with were over 35 and did extremley well! Sleep was always the major issue. The most important key to sucess I feel is support. Moms need a break too. I witnessed so much joy that I would not have hesitated to adopt twins. My DH would not have supported that due to the financial strain. We are adopting the most amazing little guy whose smile makes me melt. We also have 2 bio kids 10 and 3. Good Luck