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I'm a US single woman in my thirties and plan to eventually adopt one child internationally in the future.
( I have been saving [financially] for this since I was about 18 )
My top countries I was most interested in adopting from are...
- Thailand
- India
- Costa Rica
- Panama
- Honduras
(possibly)
The child I would want must be infant - 3yrs age
( I cannot accommodate a special needs child).
Gender is irrelevant.
Which of these countries is most open to single women adoption, and has the smoothest, most trustworthy adoption programs?
Any specific info & insight from experienced single adoptive parents would be immensely appreciated.
Thank you very much! :love:
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Hi MsLuna,
how exciting to have the opportunity to adopt! Are you set on foreign adoption? Have you considered foster care/adoption here in the states?
Hello. Yes, I have wanted to adopt from another country since I was in my late teens. Thailand & Costa Rica are my top picks. ( The conditions in many countries overseas - economically, environmentally and their overall quality of life are very poor compared to the United States in many ways, so I would love to be able to provide a better life and opportunities for a child from there. ) I would be so honored. :)
I hate to be a downer but International Adoptions have changed a lot in the last 5 years. There are very few programs open to single women, the ones that are open have extremely long wait times and are for children generally over 8 years of age.
Like you I began my journey thinking that international adoption was the path for me. I did a lot of research and became more discouraged with each piece of information I learned. adoption.state.gov can give you a lot of basic information, but then you need to research agencies. For example Thailand: the country technically allows singles to adopt but there is only one agency in the US working with Thailand and they only accept married applicants and the wait time is +3 years.
I bring this up because at this point in my research I thought my dreams of adopting were over. A family member convinced me to check in to domestic adoption. I hadn't considered it because I thought 1) it would be too expensive and 2) no one would pick a single mom.
I was wrong!! 1) The total expenses were less when you included all the travel and 2) I was chosen!! And I have the most beautiful son that I was able to bring home from the hospital!!
Good luck on your journey wherever the path may lead!
Hi. I am a single woman and tried domestic adoption but the agencies would not even allow me to apply because they said there is no way I would be picked as a single parent. There are couples waiting for a domestic adoption for years and still not be matched....n chance for a single. What agency did you work with? Could you PM me? Thank you
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It's very possible to do domestic adoption as a single person. I have a friend doing it right now with a beautiful little girl placed with her.
If the agency you talked to says no, find a different agency. Also, check to see what the laws of your state are regarding facilitators and marketing. You may be able to market yourself and find a private adoption for much less than through an agency.
It's funny so many of us started out with the same ideas.
I thought that as a single person, I wouldn't be chosen. I thought international or foster/adopt would be my path.
As I did research, I got more and more discouraged. I found that international was not really an option for a single person. There were just no countries allowing single women to adopt infants or toddlers.
I took the required training classes for foster care adoption and was set to begin my home study. I was quickly told by the SW to try domestic infant adoption if I wanted to actually adopt and not foster temporarily. (She pretty much laughed in my face.) Where I live, there are very few infants or toddlers who become legally free- they almost always RU. I didn't feel adopting an older child was the right choice for me as a first time, single parent.
I then started the process of domestic infant adoption. I was told by several sources that "The birth mothers we work with are looking for married couples." so I was discouraged there as well. I wasn't ready to give up so I decided to keep going. I'm glad I didn't give up! I wouldn't have my daughter! Her first mom DID choose me, a single woman.
I guess the moral of the story is don't give up even when told it isn't possible. To the OP, that goes for international, too, if that's what your heart is set on.
Domestic adoption is definitely a more viable option for single women than international adoption, at this point. Many good agencies admit single women to their domestic newborn program, though the wait may sometimes be longer than for married couples. Private domestic adoption, though riskier, is also an option for single women; you find a birthmother on your own and work and use a social worker for the homestudy and an attorney for the legalities and finalization. And domestic adoption through foster care is also possible, although it may be hard to find an infant who does not have known special needs.
Still, it is not totally impossible to adopt internationally, especially if you are flexible on age. If you are willing to adopt a school aged child (six years and up), there are quite a few choices. And if you are open to children with certain special needs that are relatively easy to care for -- as an example, a child with a missing forearm and hand -- you also may have some good options. You will definitely have a tough time, however, finding a program that allows you to adopt healthy infants, toddlers, and preschoolers.
Here's some information on the countries you mentioned:
Thailand is a tough country even for married couples, with long wait times -- 2 to 3 years -- for healthy young children. Theoretically, Thailand's law allows singles to adopt, but each of the entities authorized by the Thai government to work with American Hague-accredited agencies can set its own policy on accepting singles, and anecdotal evidence suggests that highly qualified singles are generally restricted to adoption of school aged children and children with significant special needs, if they are allowed to adopt at all. Overall, I'd say that you should forget about this country.
India has currently stopped accepting adoption applications from anyone who is not a "Non-Resident Indian (NRI)", unless the person is willing to adopt a school aged child or a child with significant special needs. The reason is that there are simply too many applications in the queue. If the time comes when all the children are being matched quickly, then new applications may be accepted from people who are not NRIs and who do not wish to adopt a school aged child or a child with special needs. Basically, my feeling is that the likelihood of the program opening to non-NRIs wishing to adopt young children, in the near future, is very low.
Costa Rica is a surprisingly prosperous country, with relatively few available children. It also takes its status as a Hague compliant country very seriously. As an example, it will NOT place healthy children under age four with international families, because it believes that homes can be found within Costa Rica fairly easily, for these children. The only children under four who will be placed internationally are those who are part of a sibling group being adopted together, or those who are deemed hard to place because of significant special needs. Costa Rica allows singles, but expect a child four or older to be referred, unless you are open to significant special needs.
Panama is also a small country, and takes the Hague legislation very seriously. It is not clear whether singles are accepted, but even married couples can expect to have difficulty adopting. In 2012, the last year for which the U.S. State Department has data, only two children -- total -- were adopted from Costa Rica by U.S. families.
Honduras is a very poor country, albeit a small one. Even so-called "healthy infants" are likely to suffer from malnutrition, developmental delays, and other problems caused by having economically challenged birthparents and living in very basic orphanage conditions. Most, though not all, of these conditions can be overcome with good care by adoptive parents, often with assistance from physicians and other experts. The adoption system has been in flux for the past several years, but it does appear that singles can adopt. However, many of the adoption programs offered by American agencies are considered pilot programs, which means that prospective parents may encounter changes in rules, time delays, and unexpected costs. Be sure to pick a highly experienced agency, and expect a wait of two to three years to bring a child home.
For more information about these countries, or for information about additional countries, go to adoption.state.gov, the website of the U.S. State Department.
Sharon
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Domestic adoption is definitely a more viable option for single women than international adoption, at this point. Many good agencies admit single women to their domestic newborn program, though the wait may sometimes be longer than for married couples. Private domestic adoption, though riskier, is also an option for single women; you find a birthmother on your own and work and use a social worker for the homestudy and an attorney for the legalities and finalization. And domestic adoption through foster care is also possible, although it may be hard to find an infant who does not have known special needs.
Still, it is not totally impossible to adopt internationally, especially if you are flexible on age. If you are willing to adopt a school aged child (six years and up), there are quite a few choices. And if you are open to children with certain special needs that are relatively easy to care for -- as an example, a child with a missing forearm and hand -- you also may have some good options. You will definitely have a tough time, however, finding a program that allows you to adopt healthy infants, toddlers, and preschoolers.
Here's some information on the countries you mentioned:
Thailand is a tough country even for married couples, with long wait times -- 2 to 3 years -- for healthy young children. Theoretically, Thailand's law allows singles to adopt, but each of the entities authorized by the Thai government to work with American Hague-accredited agencies can set its own policy on accepting singles, and anecdotal evidence suggests that highly qualified singles are generally restricted to adoption of school aged children and children with significant special needs, if they are allowed to adopt at all. Overall, I'd say that you should forget about this country.
India has currently stopped accepting adoption applications from anyone who is not a "Non-Resident Indian (NRI)", unless the person is willing to adopt a school aged child or a child with significant special needs. The reason is that there are simply too many applications in the queue. If the time comes when all the children are being matched quickly, then new applications may be accepted from people who are not NRIs and who do not wish to adopt a school aged child or a child with special needs. Basically, my feeling is that the likelihood of the program opening to non-NRIs wishing to adopt young children, in the near future, is very low.
Costa Rica is a surprisingly prosperous country, with relatively few available children. It also takes its status as a Hague compliant country very seriously. As an example, it will NOT place healthy children under age four with international families, because it believes that homes can be found within Costa Rica fairly easily, for these children. The only children under four who will be placed internationally are those who are part of a sibling group being adopted together, or those who are deemed hard to place because of significant special needs. Costa Rica allows singles, but expect a child four or older to be referred, unless you are open to significant special needs.
Panama is also a small country, and takes the Hague legislation very seriously. It is not clear whether singles are accepted, but even married couples can expect to have difficulty adopting. In 2012, the last year for which the U.S. State Department has data, only two children -- total -- were adopted from Costa Rica by U.S. families.
Honduras is a very poor country, albeit a small one. Even so-called "healthy infants" are likely to suffer from malnutrition, developmental delays, and other problems caused by having economically challenged birthparents and living in very basic orphanage conditions. Most, though not all, of these conditions can be overcome with good care by adoptive parents, often with assistance from physicians and other experts. The adoption system has been in flux for the past several years, but it does appear that singles can adopt. However, many of the adoption programs offered by American agencies are considered pilot programs, which means that prospective parents may encounter changes in rules, time delays, and unexpected costs. Be sure to pick a highly experienced agency, and expect a wait of two to three years to bring a child home.
For more information about these countries, or for information about additional countries, go to adoption.state.gov, the website of the U.S. State Department.
Sharon
Thailand only accepts single women rarely on a case by case basis through some agencies
India accepts single women but if you want a non special needs child it's not going to be under 3 years old and it'll take forever
Costa Rica accepts single women but any child under 7 is going to have special needs
Panama allows single women but their kids aren't below 4 years old at placement
Honduras allows single women and kids are 3 and older
I'd say your best bet is either Honduras, domestic infant adoption or being open to SLIGHTLY special needs kids. Kids in places like China India, Haiti etc have minor correctable special needs that often don't affect their lives and are often fixed before they're even adopted.
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Bulgaria, China, Latvia, Haiti are the best countries for adoption for single mothers as far I know. But you can go for India. Adoption law is smooth in there for couples.
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