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We chose to not foster to adopt, due to the reasons your husband is concerned about. We didn't want to have a child with us and then have them move just as we were getting our hearts set on adopting them. We have fostered, and we have adopted, but have not adopted any of our foster kids.
We were told that 5 of the children we fostered would likely be going to termination of parental rights, and not one of those children did. They are all reunified with bio parents. We were offered 2 infants (at different times) that were also supposed to be fast tracked to adoption. We opted to not take those placements as we didn't want to go through that process if they weren't going to stay with us. One did go to adoption, I think, but the other did not. Out of the dozen or so kids we've fostered in our home, only ONE ended up being placed for adoption, and this was not an infant, and actually surprised all the workers by ending up being placed for adoption.
We have not adopted any infants. We have adopted 4 separate children, ages 26 months, 14 months, 14 months, and 11 months at placement. Of all of the children we pursued through adoption we were never matched with a little girl. Preschool, toddler and infant girls, for some reason, are 'difficult' to get by adopting through the foster system. It can be done, and is done regularly, but it is statistically more difficult to do than boys.
Of our four adopted children all were prenatally exposed to drugs and alcohol, one was neglected for the first year of life. All but one have had developmental delays of some sort. All have the potential for continued problems of some degree, but by the grace of God we've been able to deal with them.
I have a heart for children who have higher than average needs and are less likely to be adopted, so I'd encourage you to at least investigate that possibility. This awareness only came about after we adopted and found out what we'd jumped into! There are private agencies that specialize in placing infants with some health problems that would make the child harder to place. Medically correctable things like cleft palate, deformed limbs, etc. Some of these children are also eligible for help with adoption and medical costs, and some would qualify for help from organizations such as Shriner's, for instance.
Sometimes what WE think we can/should do and what God GIVES us to do are widely divergent. By way of example, we were VERY CAREFUL with our first adoption to be ABSOLUTELY CLEAR that we did not want to adopt a child with fetal alcohol problems, or attachment problems, or any serious issues that would have to be dealt with. Guess what?
So since we were already dealing with brain differences (fetal alcohol, neglect, whatever it is that our first adopted child has) we adopted two more children who were not only prenatally exposed to alcohol, but were born addicted to their bio mom's drug of choice. And, no, I'm not anyone 'special' or 'a saint', nor did I feel a special 'calling' to do this. God just placed us here, and that, as they say, is THAT. LOL And no, we didn't PLAN to have 5 kids, it is just how God arranged for things to happen. :) In fact, we said we were done...and then the phone rang...!