Three Going on Thirteen...Help!!

I hear you! I have a 5.5 year old and we still have issues. . . she wants to wear a dress all the time and if I tell her no, it's a huge tantrum. She started this about 3 and it has gotten better, but there are still days when it takes forever for her to get dressed. Thank goodness she has to wear a uniform to school or we'd never get out of the house in the morning. Some things that worked for me in the past are giving choices--usually I'd let her choose from 2 or 3 preselected outfits. I now take her shopping with me and I don't buy anything that she says she doesn't like (I don't want the argument later). If we're not going anywhere special then I let her wear what she wants and believe me she was come up from some awful outfits, but she's happy and to me it's not worth the argument. Now of course, if we're going to church or out to eat or somewhere I'd be totally embarrassed by her mismatched outfit, I'd make her change. Good luck! Liz

I have boys and my oldest boy did this at age 2 1/2 to 3. He doesn't do it now. However, my youngest is 2.5 and he wants to wear the same shirt all the time.I think it goes along with being 3. They are trying to learn to be more independent and more in control. I know a lady who let her kid go to school in pajamas and be called to the principals office because she was so tired of the fighting. I don't know that I'd go to that extreme, although it did work for her! :eek:I think you're doing the right thing by giving her choices. Also, as hard as it is, try and stay consistent. Maybe one day a week let her wear whatever she wants. Good luck!

My DD is 2.5 and started wanting to choose her own clothes for as long as I can remember! She actually does pretty good on the clothes part and sometimes I put choices of 2 or 3 and she chooses from them. But sometimes she doesn't like any of mine and she picks her own. Overall I let her w/in reason. BUT the area we struggle with is SHOES! She is addicted to shoes. She has about 100 pair and loves flip flops and sandals. She can't wear either to school so we did have a morning where we BOTH melted down over the "shoe" issue. :hissy: After that happen, I decided to negotiate. She can wear the flip flops right up to the time to leave for school and then change and she can put her selected pair in the car so that she can change as soon as she is out of school. So far this has worked. Don't know if that will help you in anyway?

Many kids develop 'favorites'. Had a niece who loved-loved-LOVED this one pair of tights. I always admired how her mom just bit her lip and let her Dd wear them, even after they had been darned too DARN many times!If it isn't something that is really important, like the shoe rules at school, or a funeral/wedding/social event where wearing something 'eccentric' could be disrespectful, the I let the kids wear what they choose. MY big trump card is that I purchase their clothes, so I am in charge of what and how many of each item they have. I do consider their tastes, but we do put boundaries on them, too. DD1 is a teenager and has her own fashion sense. I bite my tongue and let her wear what she likes because it is modest, it doesn't break any of the moral codes her father and I have, and she is not disrespectful of others in what she wears. (No flip flops and sweats to weddings, that kind of thing.) With all of our kids, when they were young and made this first stab and individuality and independence, we had some interesting combos when we would venture out and about. Plaids and stripes, eye-popping colors, lace gloves and silky scarves paired with cowboy vests and boots, you name it. I still cringe at some of the outfits, but it really isn't a Big Deal. We have/do elicit our fair share of smiles and comments. Instead of making outfit choices the morning of an event, we try to discuss this at least the day before. If we can lay out a week's worth of outfits and discuss them, that often works better. My kids, in general, have enough clothes for a week; I don't have space for tons of clothes and I have 5 kids, so we limit the wardrobes. ("Enough is as good as a feast.") The kids know what they have, and are better able to make decisions if we don't do it just before we leave. Again, I have the 5 kids, so I can't do this for all 5 in the hour before we take off, thus necessity forced me to plan ahead! Having fewer clothes also helps them to focus on what they do have, and what they like. I've also conceded a little because if they have a DARLING outfit that they refuse to wear, I just give it away instead of keeping it and being frustrated by it. I keep all church/party clothes in MY closet, thus removing them from consideration for daily wear. We generally know our schedule for the next 3 or 4 days so we talk about what each day will require and make plans well in advance when we can. OVER TIME this has helped to calm the tantrums.

My DD did this and I didn't have to follow through but I told her that she had a choice of 2 outfits and if she didn't pick one she would go to school in her pajamas or I woudl be forced to leave w/o her. This worked and she got dressed in a flash. As I said I didn't have to follow through w/either as the post stated above one mom did. BUT I think if you have to put them in the car a head out even it might get the point across especially if they are soo into their looks aas my dtr is. Good Luck!!!!

Count me in, too. My youngest is only 26 months and she knows exactly what she wants to wear and does the total "Imelda" with shoes. And it's not only her shoes she'll insist on wearing, but mine, her brother's and occasionally even her father's.Since my oldest daughter, also completely nuts on the issue of dressing her self when little, is now almost 38 and always looks lovely, I'm not too worried about Cj.I had a friend once with a son who for a while refused to leave the house without being in a costume ... cowboy, fireman, clown -- whatever. When I asked him why, he explained very seriously that if he went out in regular clothes everyone would laugh at him! Where kids get this stuff is beyond all of us, but what the heck! It seems this sort of control is a real stress-reducer for the kids, and what does it hurt?