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I finally contacted my bdad 3 months ago. I am 42. My bdad has 3 daughters with his wife, the woman he met after he stopped dating my bmom. My bmom blames this woman for my bdad not marrying her and helping her keep me. Bmom is STILL very bitter after all these years. Bdad's wife still hates my bmom. :confused:
Needless to say, bdad's wife is none too happy with me appearing on their doorstep and "intruding" into their lives. She says she is ok and "getting over it all" but does not act like it. My bdad feels extremely guilty because family is everything to him and he didn't know I existed. He heard rumors but was never sure and has been beating himself up for not pursuing it further. But then he was getting married to someone else and what could he have done?
My bdad told his family that I am part of him and his daughter and he wants me to be accepted as such but I don't think his wife likes that at all. My oldest of the 3 sisters and I talk and we get along great. We could be twins--it is eerie. My other 2 sisters seem very nice but very loyal to their mom and we can't seem to get past it to build a relationship/friendship.
My amom knows nothing of my reunion--is not supportive at all--and I am not sure I can continue to take this emotional strain. I may just back out completely and be done with it.
Just wondering if anyone out there has had reunion but an unrelated-to-you person has caused the reunion to be less than you hoped for?
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[FONT=Times New Roman]I know this is a little old, but I wanted you to know you arent alone. I reunited with my Bdad 2 years ago. My BdadҒs wife has been a major issue in our reunion. She has done nothing but try to cause problems from the very start. I would tell you about it, but I dont know where to even begin. My BdadҒs wife is extremely jealous and posessive of my dad, not just with me but anyone in his life other than her. Its a completely crazy dysfunctional mess.[/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman]Anyway, I just wanted you to know you arenҒt alone. I understand the feeling of wanting to just walk away from the emotional stress. I wish I had some great advice or something to encourage you. Its just a very difficult situation with no clear answers. Take care of yourself, and do whatҒs right for you. I dont know what else to say. Reunion is difficult enough without the added stress of a spouse, who wants to cause problems as well.[/FONT]
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Shadow Rider & Soccer Mom - I couldn't have said it better myself.
My BDad had 2 kids before he married. Then he had 5 kids with his wife. Then I came along. They haven't lived together for many years and still live in 2 different countries.
I finally found him and after speaking for about 18 months. My hubby, son and I flew down to meet him. We ended up spending 1 day together. After meeting my BSis who I knew didn't like me the moment she gave me a plastic smile told her mom that I was there.
That night the phone started ringing off the hook. My BDad obviously distraught, initially denied that anything was wrong. Before the sun came up the next day we left because his wife, although many miles away demanded that we left because I was not her child.
I was floored but we quietly packed up our things and left. My BDad is not in the best of health. His wife and kids are gone. He's retired and all alone.