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Hi All--based on comments from other threads, the summer time bedtime has become quite the "ORDEAL" for many of us.....just had to share my "sleep solution"!!
For the past month, M has been FREAKING OUT at bedtime--hanging on my leg as I leave the room, screaming like we are poking her with hot sticks, just crazy, crazy stuff.
So this weekend (while at Grandmas and then tonight), I've gone back to hanging out at the doorway once she's been tucked in. Just hanging out, reading my book. At Grandmas she was in a crib, so it was easy.
At home, she's in a bed, so she got out a couple of times. Instead of being my usual firm "get back into bed", I just ignored that part, said, "I'm going to sit here" and eventually, she settled down and fell asleep.
And instead of feeling awful because she was crying, instead of running up and down the stairs, comforting and then trying to leave to have the whole drama start again, I read several chapters in my book and she fell asleep peacefully. Ahhh.
Just had to share with mommas who've been there!
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Ah . . . that sounds blissful. With my L we had a fairly consistent bedtime routine. I would read her a story and then lie with her for a few minutes and then when she was drowsy, give her a kiss and leave. This compromise was reached after months of dragging her back to her bed, screaming, crying, me sitting in doorway and putting her back into bed a million times, etc. This week I moved M into her room with her and it is starting all over again. M is in a crib and goes to bed before L so when we go in we have to be quieter which isn't a problem for L as she treats it like a game but now she is waking up in the middle of the night again and wanting me to stay with her all night. Ugh. . . last night I was in her tiny bed for 2 hours finally I told her that mommy needed to go to her bed and she was so tired she didn't fuss but I was anxious the entire rest of the night that she would cry again. I'm hoping that we can smooth through this rough patch quickly. Congratulations on your sleep solutions. It is so awesome when you find something that works and makes the night more peaceful.
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I've been reading a lot about sleep solutions lately--of course, shortly after posting my 'success", MAM turned it into a game and we had a few nights of trying to figure it out. She's also started to wake up at night (which has been very rare until this week). For these reasons alone I"m almost ready to go back to work 5 days a week! (which starts next week!)
In reading assorted books, they all basically stated the same three things:
1) Bedtime can be tough, and most parents are annoyed by it at some point (that alone made me feel better)
2) You can stay til she's asleep, but, well, then you have to stay til she's asleep. Which could be awhile.
3) You can work your way up to leaving/time the amount of time you let her cry before you comfort her, but well, she's going to cry til she's asleep.
And any way you slice it, it has to be consistent and you can't "cut corners" so to speak...at this stage of the game it's all about consistency-they need to know what's going on so they can relax into sleep in the first place.
I thought it was supposed to get easier as they get older?!?!?
Routine, Routine, Routine... we have found keeping the same pattern at night helps. We also found that we we're putting our kids to bed too early for summer and by waiting an hour, and doing a bit more activity (tonight we pedaled down the street on our trikes) wears them out more.
We never did the cry it out method, we cuddled, snuggled, rocked, and made bedtime a fun time. We realize they won't be wanting to do this forever and take advantage of this special time. My husband commented tonight while watching a TV show where the little girl cuddled in with her mom how wonderful it is to have them snuggle.
Our peditrictan told us early on that the US is the only place that focuses so much on the sleep issues, and most of world has their kids sleep close. His own wife had their kids sleep with them. It made us feel much better that we valued attachment parenting, and family bed.
Daddy at bedtime is a GOOD THING. What's funny is that she's totally different depending on if it's just me, just him or both of us at home.
Enerad--that's interesting about sleep issues being a US thing--I've read that before where most children around the world don't sleep in a room by themselves either. What a strange place this "civilized" world is!
Thankfully, this week is getting better--partially, I think, because we got the results back from the allergy testing and have cut dairy out of her diet. She's less congested, is eating better and the bags under her eyes have disappeared.....
This week she also started putting her dolls to bed--SO CUTE. She wraps them in dish towels and pats their backs and then lines them up next to her.
I LOVE THIS GIRL!
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We were having issues, and now only my DH can put him to bed, if we want him to go to sleep and stay there. If it has to be me? Forget it. He made the switch in a heartbeat (but forgot to tell us about it. Nice), and it took us a while to figure it out, since it had always been Mama who needed to put him down. Dad thinks he's more firm and the babe realizes he won't cave..... I dunno, but I'm happy to let him do it, if it will work!! Of course, we've just come off 2 weeks of INSANELY busy stuff/extra outings/several late nights, so I should probably knock on wood (she says as she starts pounding both fists on doors in utter superstitious mode to the max)....