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We are in the process of adopting two sets of kids. The first kids are 2 of now 9 living silblings ( #9 passed away and # 10 was just born)We have agreed to have contact with the siblings and their caretakers. The other set - the birth mother just called me and we talked for an hour and a half. She may relinquish if we agree to an open adoption. I see no problem with this as kids are young and will learn to deal with whatever we teach them ( you have 2 mommies etc) . My DH thinks I'm nuts but is okay with it. I guess as long as he doesn't have to deal with the families he's okay. Our respective family's however think we are nuts. "It will damage the children" . "It's not normal" etc. Does anyone else have this issue with their families not understanding?
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YES!!! My MIL was/is SO terrified that the b-family will kidnap them that I had to tell her to back off at Bug's b-day party when his aunt asked if she could hold him. It was the first time she had seen him since he was born, adoption was already final and he was not going anywhere. In fact SHE was the person who turned her sister in to prevent him from going home with her. HELLO...hardly a threat with 4 kids of her own to raise at home. She just wants to be part of his life and make sure he knows she loves him. If anyone else does not like it, they have kept their feelings to themselves...and since then so has she.
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We have an open relationship with our daughter's b-grandma and b-mother. She lived with g'ma for four or five years before coming to us. For the first year she was with us b-mom was in jail so she was not an issue. When she got out and moved in with her mother we continued to allow T to visit g'ma's. Our family thought we were crazy and just asking for trouble. It did help tho, when T had her dance recital. My mother, sister, mil, fil and sil all attended. And so did T's b-mom and b-g'ma. When our family members got to know the birth family it did help. They realized that these women were not terrible people. B-mom made a lot of mistakes, but is clean now. B-g'ma loves T but could not parent her. She loved her enough to let her go.