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When I was a child, my own father came to me and sat me down on the bed. He asked me if I would like to live with a new family. I said yes, mostly because I was tired of hiding my cans of food under my pillow, and that would mean that I could have my own bed and my brother could stop sleeping in the hallway. A couple of years went by, I went before a court declaring that I would live with my aunt and uncle. (At the time they were delighted to have me, I was three years old, blonde haired and blue eyed, could already read, and was happy to sit in the shopping cart and be pretty.) My aunt and uncle adopted me. Legally. I had a brother and sister that went to different families and grandparents. My new parents weren't people that wanted children, as my uncle often reminded me. They weren't bad people, they just weren't interested. I got older, excelled in dance and the performing arts. My parents missed my high school victories, they said they were tired and thought that my being upset was silly.
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I am so sorry that you are struggling with this issue. Asking a child to understand adult issues is a terrible burden for a child. You were not silly for being upset at parents. Rather, they appear to be unable to cope with their decades old decision. My biological father behaved in a similar manner. At age 9 he abandonded my mom and his three kids. We were relegated to playing "pioneer days" in our living room. This meant that we sat, ate, cooked, slept around the fireplace. Little did I know that the power had been turned off and we had only well water and dried beans to eat (affordable at 35 cents per pack). Thirty years later my bio-father shows up on the doorstep as if everything was okay. He doesn't understand my anger either. You will find a great group of compassionate members on this forum.
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I met my bio father at my brothers wedding a few years ago. He spent the night trying to make amends for what he did. I don't think he's a bad man, but you can't start over from nothing. I was four the last time I saw him. You can't start a relationship 20 years later and expect good results. He also decided that he would tell some stories about my adopted dad that were less than flattering. That pissed me off, I reminded him that he had a choice to raise me and gave that up. I got a walmart gift card in the mail a few months later. I haven't heard from him since.