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The Birthmother Worker from our agency called today to say that a Birthmother had selected our profile and choose us. Her son was born July 21st. He is currently in care. The court date is set for next Wednesday. If we say yes, we will be the official parents of a 3 month old in two weeks time. After 6 years of 'trying' and 9 months of adoption paper work--we're done. Why does it feel so anti-climatic? We're feeling like the strangest potential parents ever. Shouldn't we be shouting for joy? But its like we're still holding back, doubting. I guest 6 years of 'no cigar' will do that to you.
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I don't think your emotions are that unusual at all. I can relate on more than one occasion. I think much of it DOES come from the 'no cigar' enough, that we tend to down-play anything until 'the fat lady really does sing', KWIM?
Sometimes, I think it IS a good idea NOT to get too deeply involved in thinking, 'this is IT!'....until it's safe to do so. Sure kept my heart from totally breaking more than once!
But...once that baby is in your arms and completely yours......LET IT OUT, honey!
I daresay, your feelings will change if/when you're told it's a sure thing. And truthfully, it probably WILL be a sure thing. Three months is STILL very tiny and wonderfully 'infant'. We've brought home babies as young as one day, and as 'old' as 7.5months. There was a time when I worried a bit about bringing home a 7.5month old....but I assure you, they were still babies and I didn't miss the 'tiny-ness'.
My best to you...and keep us updated! (Is this a girl or boy baby?) :)
Most Sincerely,
Linny
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Yes, after all the worrying we did about the wait, pbirthmothers not choosing us, deciding to parent, failed matches/placements, etc... we got the call about a baby who was already born and TPR'd, and the birthparents didn't want to choose a family, so the agency chose us. Talk about NONE of our fears being founded. We also totally didn't expect a call so soon (were told we had basically no chance of actually being chosen by a birthmother, and that it would likely be 9+ months before the agency had an agency pick situation) and in reality it was just over 2 months from agency approval to daughter in our arms. So that was sort of surreal, too. So many people have SUCH a difficult time adopting (failed matches/placements, long waits, etc.), that I think the ones of us for whom it is easier sometimes don't feel like our experience is as valid as theirs, because it WAS so easy. But in the end, we are just as much parents, and that, to me, is really all that matters. Good luck. I hope this situation works out for you.
We went to visit our baby at the host mother's home today. It was a two hour drive there and back again. He is so handsome and full of life. At 2 months his personality is so defined. Its amazing. I can't wait to go back up there on Monday. We don't know when exactly we'll be able to bring him home. But it looks like it'll be in less than a week's time.
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