Is This How All Feel?

I've given birth to 4 and adopted 4. And HONESTLY, it really would never have mattered to me if all 8 had been adopted. I wanted children. It was up to God how they came. I'm glad He is in charge. I probably would have screwed it up anyway!!

I always wanted kids. Multiple kids. God gave us one bio, but when it came time for more we were not interested in another baby. Been there, done that.

I suppose somewhere back in time, I thought I'd want to be pregnant; but also---way back there, I also told everyone I wanted to adopt. We never tried to get pregnant, and actually---AudreyE, I DO understand your comment about 'being upset if you did get pg'! (There was a brief time I thought I was, and I wasn't too thrilled about it...) The ONLY advantage I ever saw for us to be pregnant, was that it would have been MUCH easier---rather than dealing with the ups and downs of the adoption road. As for the attention and such this society gives to pg women--------well yeah.....THAT surely would have been a plus....but on the other hand, I've never understood WHY there's all the attention in the first place! Just my thoughts...... Sincerely, Linny

When I was younger I wanted to get pregnant... I always wanted kids & that was just the main otpion I had, although adopting was somewhere in the back of my mind always. I think if I were to have a healthy pregnancy & a healthy baby I would be overjoyed, but so much can go wrong, especially the older you get. I am in my thirties now & I just have no desire to get pregnant now. It seems to me that it would be too big a strain on my body & that would effect the baby. I don't really mourn it though. For me it's not a big loss. Because of my religious beliefs I did question this about myself... is this right? I was given the honor of bearing a child & I don't want to use it. Am I taking this honor for granted? But there is this stronger feeling that reminded me that it's just as honorable to love a child unconditionally when it is not mine biologically as is it to bear a child. So, the guilt is gone. I'm cool with it.

Since I was around 11yrs I want to have one Bio-child and adopt the rest. I wanted to expirence pregnancy, but even at that young age I knew there where kids in foster care that needed homes. I got pregant with my daughter at 17yrs and was married to her daddy 3 days after my 18th birthday. When DD was 5yr we decided we wanted more kids. DH was to afraid of adoption, so we tried to have another bio-child. After years of trying to have another child we relized adoption would be the only way to make our dreams come true.

Adoption is a wonderful rollercoaster ride that has an awsome ending Hipi and Arkansa parent. Linny and Mrsred are experienced parents and have lots of wonderful advice for us all.

I have always wanted 3 or 4 kids. After DD was born I couldn't get pregnant again, I'm all about adoption now! I'm very excited about it.

I've also always wanted to adopt. I have an apopted daughter (22 months), a soon to be adopted son (9 months - our daughter's bio brother, surprise!!!) and a bio son (5 months). I admit I never truly understood the 'need' to have bio children. There are so many wonderful children out there who just need to find their true home. But my feelings on that subject became drastically more complicated once we actually had a child to care for. I'm still sorting it out. We mainly decided to have a biological child because I absolutely wanted a sibling for my daughter and we didn't yet know she had a biological brother on the way. Now that we have both, I just don't know where we're headed. My husband and I tell people that we're done having children - I mean aren't our hands full with three under two years old? I'm madly in love with all of our children. And I'm really starting to think we should have another. Should they be adopted or biological? Maybe my biological son would like to have a biological sibling. But why would I do that when there are children out there that need homes? I'll have to ponder that for a year or two :camo:

I am with the OP....I know it does not make any sense, but I cannot think of anything I want to do less than experience pregnancy. Thankfully dh liked the idea of adoption too. My kids are my kids, and this was the way they were supposed to come into my life.

I always want both. Not sure I wanted to experience pregnancy, but want bio kids. LOL! Before we married we talked about adopting a child - it just took us longer to get that point after we had our boys.

Even before the infertility issues, I always had a hard time imagining myself being pregnant. But, ever since I can remember, I always had the dream of the child I would have. You know, they say that part of getting over infertility and getting ready for adoption is letting go of that "dream child". Well, funny thing is, that child for me was ALWAYS a little girl with wavy blond hair and blue eyes. Now, I have always had straight dark brown hair and brown eyes. So does my DH. But our DD, who we adopted 4 years ago, had that wavy blond hair and blue eyes and is that child I always dreamed of.

jren.....isn't it amazing how things happen. I always knew that I would have a child and adopt a child and that is how it worked out.

I always have wanted to adopt. I even tried to convince my parents to adopt when I was a teenager (they were done having kids by that point but I gave it a good try! :) ). Dh and I always knew that we wanted to try to have both experiences. I knew I always wanted a lot of children, but I NEVER pictured myself being pregnant. Even when I was pregnant I was kind of shocked at how pregnancy was affecting me, and I always said that I always dreamt of the child(ern) while we were doing IVF never the pregnancy. Now though I have to admit that I do have more of a difficult time because I was pregnant, and we did not have the magical moment that most have. It is not that I want to be pregnant again, but I just want our first pregnancy to have worked out differently. I hope that makes sense. With everything that another pregnancy would include I don't think that I could handle it. Adoption has always felt right from the beginning, and I really think that adoption is what was always meant for my life!

cbrink7....I am so sorry. We all sometimes forget that not all are happy ever after stories. I am so glad to hear that adoption was for you and your family. I loved our adoption journey and wish that we could do it again.

Well I have done both 3 bios and 2 adopted and I can't say one was harder than any of the others. Both had their good and bad aspects, but I am glad I had the opprutunity to do both. I always knew I wanted to foster/adopt (my parents are foster parents and have adopted 5) and I didn't really know if I wanted to go PG until I just sorta happened, but I wouldn't trade the experience.