I am starting the process of foster to adopt. I am also considering just straight out fostering as well. So I had some quiestions. ONe is how long does a foster child usually stay with you? Do you foster just children in your own county or surrounding? I have more but as soon as I started this thread my mind went blank lol. I will ask more when I get my brain back..
Gosh. It's such an unknown. I had one placement that they said would go to adoption but she went to a relative placement after 2 months (*long story).
The baby I have now was supposed to be one night as an emergency placement. That turned into a couple of days. Then a month. Now it's looking like several months or maybe even spring before he's reunited.
It's such a gamble. How long they stay depends on whether relatives show up unexpectedly, whether the birthparents fix whatever caused the removal of the kids, and whether birthparents have a good attorney who pushes for a quick reunion.
Take two mom's who's kids are removed for drug use.
The first mom completes 45 days in rehab and moves back into her safe apartment, visits the kids every week, and has 3 months of clean drug tests.
The other holds off on entering a treatment center or doesn't go at all, doesn't visit regularly and loses her apartment due to the drug problem.
Both had kids removed for exactly the same reason and had to complete the same goal (drug treatment & clean drug tests). For the first case, you might have the kids 4 months. For the second case, you might have them for a year or more and even be able to adopt them.
The hardest part of foster parenting is trying to prepare for the unknown. You don't know when you'll get a call for placement (waiting is SO hard). You don't know what the kids will be like when you get them. From month to month, you might not know how long they are staying.
With "Brandon", I got him ready to go after his first court date-(had to go home and unpack). Got him packed and ready to go after the second court date (had to go home and unpack). For the third court date, I figured I'd wait to pack until I knew for sure but the social worker thought reunion was a possibility or a family member would come forward by that time. Nope. He's still here. And now after the latest court date, I still don't know how long he's staying. There is no fixed court date for the mom. Whenever she completes her case plan, her attorney will request a hearing to have him reunited with mom. The social workers are guessing that will take at least a few months.
It would be so much easier if I knew he was staying until March 3 or November 2. It would be easier to plan. As it is, I'll have to take the social worker's guess of late winter or early spring as the date.