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Not fun, I remember. You have to be brutally honest without blaming her. I used the example of when parents divorce and the child sits waiting for the parent to show up and the child is so disappointed. She was able to relate to that b/c her Dad did that to her and she was able to be careful after that. I have had to be very careful about when I tell her we will have a visit just to be on the safe side. I also allow unlimited phone calls, my dd can call her anytime she wants (with her Mother in agreement of course). At first she called several times a day b/c she had so much anxiety about her Mother's safety and wellbeing. It has tapered now to once a day one of them will call the other and the anxiety is gone, if she is able to see her great if she can't it is discussed between them and I am no longer put in the middle. It is working beautifully for all of us.