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mbjones, We've had experience with a situation where we were matched for several months with an expectant mom whose mom was not very supportive of the adoption due to her own infertility. Still, the emom was"98%" sure she wanted us to adopt her baby. We learned that this was a "big red flag" from our agency and didn't see why it was so significant. Our counselors told us that yes, the emom MIGHT go against her mom because their communication was a bit shakey, but that it was also clearly possible that she would listen to her mom. In the end, the emom did choose to parent. What we accepted was that this was exactly what was wonderful for this baby and emom, that her family stepped up to the plate. It was hard on us, but our dd was born soon afterward (via a different emom), a whole other story.
I don't mean in any way that your situation won't work out -- but, it's important to recognize that family support is a big positive and lack of support a big negative, depending upon the family connection. Our ds' birthgrandmother was very very supportive of the adoption and it helped ds' birthmom a lot, but she was only 15 when he was born.
How soon is the EDD? That might also help you decide if you wait this out, which is what we decided to do, since there was a great chance that the emom might still place her child with you. Best of luck, susan