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I can't give advice (other than the usual independent counseling). I do have some experience in that I am currently a 3rd party on the other side of the equation - helping a family member with adoption. She too had the choice of family members adopting her child.
Her main reasons for not choosing this were:
1) She wants to ownӔ the relationship with her AP's and herself. If there is disagreement or bad feelings that come up in the future, she does not want the added pressure of several family members getting involved, taking sides, causing arguments etc.
2) She feels it would be harder to respect boundaries (for her) if a family member were parenting
3) She felt it would be too painful for her to see a family member get all the parenting kudos
She has chosen a family that is very open to extended family contact and hopefully it will workIŒm not saying that inter-family adoption isn't great and there were a lot of prosӔ to having a family member adopt. Its just my experience of what your PBM might be thinking.
You may want to ask her why she is opposed to a family member adopting.
Also (if you havenҒt already) think about your comfort level when it comes to other relatives and their role within your life then discuss with her. (OK ֖ that was a suggestion not advice! LOL)
Best of luck!