Let me have the good, bad and ugly!

My two cents... Babies are the easiest IMO, if you can deal with (and maybe enjoy - I do :)) sleepless nights, diapers, bottles etc then I'd say that's the route to go. They love most people with a bottle and a googly face to play peek-a-boo with which makes doc appts, visitations etc a breeze. All of our foster babies have adapted easily into our lifestyle and family. We are of the belief that if a child has the proper interventions early enough on in life things like RAD, developmental delays etc are completely avoidable. Older kiddos (well we've only had a sibling group of 3 older kiddos so far) are second in line. They can at least semi-understand what's going on and why. They can communicate their needs and feelings with you which makes it easier to get them the things/help they need. Toddlers are definitely the hardest - again in my experience. They don't understand what's going on, you can't explain to them what's going on. They are such creatures of habit that it's tough for them to adjust to a new home, new people, new children, different foods EVERYTHING. Visitations have been awful because they don't understand what the heck is going on. Without major incentive (such as an adoptive placement) I would not take a kiddo between the age of say 2 to 3 maybe 4 again. I feel worst for them and helpless as to how to meet their needs with no way to communicate why on earth their life is being turned upside down. They are certainly not my fortay even though we have two biological toddlers of our own right now!!! Go figure :arrow: It sounds like elementary school aged kiddos would be wonderful for you to work with! Best of luck as you decide what's right for you and your family!!!

Thank you so much for your reply, it really helps to weigh out the pros and cons!!!

First, definitely stay younger than your son, by several years. As for my situation, my DH and I weren't into the sleepless nights, changing diapers, etc. As much as I would have taken toddlers and older, we prefered a child already in school (elementary), to reduce day care necessity. We've been placed with a 7yr old boy, 11 & 12 yr old sisters, and now our son 11 yrs old. I really liked the 7/8 yr old age and would have preferred that age range, but our son fits our family perfectly and are very happy with that. Good luck in your journey!

My daughters are almost 7 years apart and it's a GREAT age difference for us. My older daughter loves helping with the babies and playing with them. She's more competitive with kids who are very close in age. I recently disrupted a placement of bio sisters ages 2 & 4. The 4 year old had serious attachment issues and it made life miserable for everyone-especially my oldest daughter. She didn't want to come home at night and spent every night she could with my mother. At this point, I am only open to babies 2 and younger. It seems to fit best with my family and any attachment issues are easier to heal and deal with at those ages.

I've had 3 placements - 2 under 2 and an infant straight from the hospital. To my surprise, I MUCH preferred the toddler age. Young enough to be impressionable old enough to not have sleepless nights - which as a single mom was not for me. To my surprise, the infant was not my cup of tea! I would love to have a baby but it would have to be with a husband (or at least a live-in nanny)!:) Good luck.