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I am having trouble trying to get motivated and put together the latest letter to b-mom. We are supposed to have a visit next month, and I am dreading that too. You see, recently it was discovered that she posted photos of not just our (hers and our) son on her myspace account, but also of our other son and even photos that she downloaded from our dropshots page of our house and property. Part of my concern is that her profile is NOT private and that she did not ask if she could use the photos of our house or other children. DH has made the decision that he is going to ask her to remove them and is not sure he is going to allow any photos to be taken at the next visit. My other issue I have is that right next to these photos she has downloaded a photo of my son's biological father...from the sex offender website...and posted the caption "the man who raped me" under it. Am I not right to be disturbed by this? Although I can understand her need to deal with this issue and can't imagine what she must be going thru, I also can't imagine if / when my son were to be of an age where HE might find this on-line and how that would impact him. Given this, I know I can wright the whole he is this big and had a great Christmas...blah, blah, blah. It always seems to be a struggle because she IS so much younger than I am, and her lifestyle is FAR from what we want to expose our son to...but my heart is just struggling this time around. Thanks for listening!
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Awe, sorry to hear that - it must be very distressing :-( I'm a much less tolerant person than you, so I'd likely say things I might regret. But at that very least, I think the picture must, must, MUST be removed and that she be informed in no uncertain terms that she will never get another picture if this ever happens again. Then I probably would drive the point home by not letting her take pictures at the next visit.
Bug-n-Bears-Mommy
I am having trouble trying to get motivated and put together the latest letter to b-mom. We are supposed to have a visit next month, and I am dreading that too. You see, recently it was discovered that she posted photos of not just our (hers and our) son on her myspace account, but also of our other son and even photos that she downloaded from our dropshots page of our house and property. Part of my concern is that her profile is NOT private and that she did not ask if she could use the photos of our house or other children. DH has made the decision that he is going to ask her to remove them and is not sure he is going to allow any photos to be taken at the next visit. My other issue I have is that right next to these photos she has downloaded a photo of my son's biological father...from the sex offender website...and posted the caption "the man who raped me" under it. Am I not right to be disturbed by this? Although I can understand her need to deal with this issue and can't imagine what she must be going thru, I also can't imagine if / when my son were to be of an age where HE might find this on-line and how that would impact him. Given this, I know I can wright the whole he is this big and had a great Christmas...blah, blah, blah. It always seems to be a struggle because she IS so much younger than I am, and her lifestyle is FAR from what we want to expose our son to...but my heart is just struggling this time around. Thanks for listening!
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i guess i would err on the side of compassion and love... let her know how you feel about this... and that it makes you uncomfortable.... also, Myspace has rules that you can only post pictures of your own kids... myspace would remove them for you, if you asked...
she is obviously struggling with a lot ... i can't imagine being raped... and the emotional toll that has had on her... combined with relinquishing the baby... wow..
if she is young, she simply may not understand the dangers that posting pictures on the internet poses... and explaining that to her might help her understand your reaction....
julie
Ugh, I can understand the pictures. Our daughter's picture is being posted online at myspace (on several accounts) and another website. Me and my husband have to find out what our rights are and how do we go about addressing this. It's a complicated situation but these people aren't socially appropriate and probably feel this is their "right" to do so but it's not. I have to find out what exactly I can do about it though and then we will go from there.I hope you are able to talk to her and she can understand.
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Is this girl young? Please remember that young people don't really understand adult concerns. Many young people put any and everything on the internet and see nothing wrong with it. I would simply ask her nicely to take them down and explain why you feel that way. Hopefully she will understand why and follow your request. I would NOT cut off contact or not send her any more pictures. It seems as though that is not even giving her a chance. Just my thoughts.
Julie is right - as I understand it mySpace will take the photo's down, no one can post photo's of anyone elsesҒ children with out their parents permission - clearly they do not have permission. As the other have suggested I would contact her and explain things, try to work things out with her first.
And, I know I'm late chiming in here but I do agree that at little compassion does go a long way...most under 25 do not understand the impact of posting things on line can have...hey we were all dumb kids once right? So this is really no different...and she not the only one putting things out there that shouldnt be public...heck, there is even a PSA running about this same topic (itҒs a pretty good one, too!)
She is obviously feeling some very strong emotions right now toward the Father and while I do not agree with what she's doing, posting his picture like that, to me, is a desperate cry for help, for justice. Shes clearly not getting the help she needs to deal with her issues. And again, it goes back to Җ she doesnt understand the impact of seeing that can have on the child in the future. I just hope she can get some help to deal with her issues sooner than later and I hope you give her a chance to work things out with you before you cut her out of her childҒs life.
Wishing you peace and harmony!
C.
<<as I understand it mySpace will take the photo's down, no one can post photo's of anyone else’s’ children with out their parents permission >> Do you know how I would go about this? My daughter's picture is on multiple myspace accounts and I'm sure I haven't seen them all. Do you think myspace will make it clear that this isn't allowed? This wouldn't stop everyone from doing it though right? I mean they could just make their page private and still do it? See, they will do this. :( There's also websites I need to get her picture off of also. ugh
I would just send them an email at: privacy@myspace.com
Good Luck!
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Bug-n-Bears-Mommy
We contacted myspace and the photos were removed within minutes after going thru their hoops to actually talk to a human being. She was also sent an e-mail stating that any more photos that are posted will result in her account being permanently closed.
It was our licensor that told me we could do that. I guess they have to take actions all the time with the children in foster care because parents...bio and foster...plaster photos all over myspace all the time. I just don't get it...with all the media surrounding all the creeps why anyone would want their child's photo on there private or otherwise!
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