Adopting Teenage Daughter's Baby

We are living proof that a TPR is no guarentee anyone will stay out of anyone's life. The child may even initiate contact at some point, regardless of how much you would rather keep the bdad away. I have a former friend who adopted her granddaughter. They are 'Mom and Dad' to the child, not grandma and grandpa. They cannot legally name either birthparent as legal guardians in case something happens and they can't raise her. In that case, the bmom tested positive for drugs at baby's birth, so that may be a factor in that regulation.Also please keep in mind the grandparents on this baby's father's side. Even if their son is not ready to be a parent, the g-parents might want to be involved. We have been cut off from our grandchildren because of our akids' estrangement from us, and I can tell you that's a pain that will never go away. You need to meet with the bdad's parents and find out what they want to happen and what they are willing to contribute financially and emotionally. I realize you're angry and upset at this situation. Any parent would be. Use a mediator if needed, but if they're decent people at all, try to keep communication open.We've learned through bitter experience there isn't any real way to keep b-family out of a kid's life, even from halfway around the world, even when the bfamily in question are really bad people. If your daughter wants to keep the baby, it's going to be extremely difficult for her to watch someone else raising it, even with the best of intentions on everyone's part. I have to agree with others in that, unless the bdad is dangerous, you may be better off trying to solve this some other way. I'm assuming he lives nearby. Are you planning to move away and not tell anyone where you're going? Otherwise, you have to make some peace with them because they know where you live and you may even run into them around town sometimes.Check your health insurance. The child may be covered as long as he/she lives in your household and you are claiming him or her as a dependent on you income taxes.This is a complex situation and my heart goes out to you and your daughter. I hope you can find a resolution that works for everyone and keeps your daughter and the baby safe and happy. Important, life-impacting decisions have to be made, and I don't see any way you can avoid talking to an objective third party and/or a lawyer. If you're church-goers, I suggest starting with a counseling session with clergy and go from there. But definitely talk to a lawyer as soon as possible because legal things seem to take forever and you're on a deadline.Good luck.