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We are hoping to adopt our little Bear bear. We have had her since she was 5 1/2 weeks old. Dad has already voluntarialy TPR'd just last friday. Mom is planning on doing the same very soon.
We are planning to have an open adoption with Dad and most likely mom as well. But what should we call them (have bear bear grow up calling them)? and what are some good rules for openess.
We are getting a PO box for mail like packages and letters but what about visits ect. I can tell that he loves her and he has been in jail since before she was born. He wasn't a part of the reason she was removed but relinquished because he wanted what was best for her. They don't live far from us maybe 30-45min. And there is extended family on dad's side.
This is our first adoption and we want to be wise. Any advice would be great :)
If either of our babies are adopted, we're not sure what we'll have them call their bioparents. Not "bioparents" that's for sure :)
Maybe "your other mother" and "your other father", maybe their first names. I think we're all about letting the parents decide what they wish to be called.
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You could always refer to the bioparents as "mommy first name" and "daddy first name". Or his "first mommy" and "first daddy".
As for openness, if put the least amount of obligation in writing... so if something happens in the future you are not stuck. Leave an "out" in the agreement (missed visits, destructive behavior, etc) would qualify to stop contact until deemed appropriate again.
PO box is a good way to start. You can also set up a special email account to do email exchanges. You can also setup a photo album account on any of the websites out there and give them access.
Good luck!
We live in Idaho and it is a closed adoption state. So even if we wantd to put something in writing we couldn't it isn't legal here.
But I do want to establish an informal agreement and boundaries. We want bear bear to know her family because that is important but we don't want to be unwise either.
Any experiences or advice would be great thanks!!!