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Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate your stories. Thankfully nobody has called me a Grandma yet, but if we'd had kids at the same time as my husband's sisters, we would be. [url=http://www.afformula.com/]AF Formula™ Asian Flush Cure. Treatment for Alcohol Flush Reaction[/url]
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JAK
I'm being honest... At 46 years old with a 9 year old boy, an only child adopted from Colombia, I still feel frustrated hearing stories about pregnancy and the endless talk about so and so looks like mom, dad, etc. I thought that at this age, after this much time, infertility issues would be over. Instead it still hurts, of course not as much, that now my nieces and nephews are having babies and my sister-in-laws are saying, when I was pregnant I remember... It also bothers me, that I feel I'm being deceptive when I say my son was born in Colombia and that if I don't offer that he is adopted in the conversation, I feel like I'm lying. However, I've come to the conclusion its none of people's business how we became a family, but does that mean I have to always be careful what I say? I think the answer is yes. I'm mostly concerned about how these feelings will be felt by my son who is a wonderful little guy and is very sensitive. I want to find other Mom's who are older and who've adopted in my area but it just seems there is no one out there. "Everyone" is 10 years younger and hasn't gone through any of our experiences (wanting a kid in my twenties, trying for years to get pregnant, than my husband and I adopting when I'm 38 years old and he's 40.) Who do you talk to? I'm tired of being "the only one" who is "different." In Minneapolis we knew several people who had adopted, but down here in a much smaller community in SE Florida its such a "strange" thing, that I feel very isolated. People have said the strangest things to us, and I hope Lucas doesn't hear it, but he's bound to eventually (such as I "knew" he was adopted because you're both blonde and hazel/blue eyes and he's got brown eyes and brown hair.) When he was an infant he looked like us and does still a lot but as he gets older, he is no longer blonde and I feel guilty that I even am saying this. Thankfully L has tons of friends and we're so proud that he told his closest buddies up the street he was adopted from Colombia. They didn't believe him so he asked us to confirm it to them and they thought it was cool. Any thoughts or experiences? I feel I can't be the only one that has gone through this.
Ack! I wasnt feeling old until I read this thread! :-PI just turned 50 (!!) and my husband (30!!) are in the process of adopting two kids from foster care ages 2.5 and 8. We got married 5 (I was 45)years ago, and tried to conceive and miscarried three times. We then started the process to adopt through foster care:)I honestly dont feel older than the other moms:) Im active and keep up! But to be honest with you, Ive always acted younger than the number of my age :PNo one has said anything to me about it yet...though I anticipate that it will happen eventually.Maybe its just a mindset?Tam
I adopted my wonderful daughter from China when I was 51 and she was 18 months old. I turned 67 today, and my daughter will turn 17 years old next month. We are still having fun! Frankly, I have never regretted my choice, and I have never felt "odd". I live in the DC metropolitan area, where old Moms are commonplace --- even old SINGLE Moms like me -- and where there are so many White families with kids from China that we can easily fill a banquet hall on Chinese New Year with a few hundred families. I do think that you should consider moving to a more adoption-friendly and age-friendly area. It is very important for your son to know other kids whose families were formed by international adoption, and especially, kids whose families look like yours -- typical Caucasian parents with a Hispanic child. It is also important for YOU to know other old Moms, because yes, you will have a different perspective on some child-raising issues, because you are older. One of the people whose opinions I consider most valuable is another old single Mom, about my age, who has two daughters from China. Sharon
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