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Oh, yeah, we're 'behind', too. We didn't marry until my Dh was 32, and while I'm several years younger we are still 'behind' our contemporaries with regard to children. Our children are 15, 9, 6, 3, and 2. I was 38 when our youngest was born (adopted at one year), and Dh was 47. Most of our friends have older children (teens and twenties) and most of them have grand kids who are the same age as our youngest kids. Going to high school reunions is interesting as we have been in the midst of diapers and rearing our very YOUNG children, while Dh's friends all have kids in college and are welcoming grandbabies. :rolleyes:
We also get some curious looks since our kids have various racial heritages. We have every hair and eye color, and there are several of us, so we get noticed when we go out and about. Mostly I think people just assume that we are a 'blended' family with step kids, etc. We live in a small community and most people who know us even just as acquaintences know that we've adopted some of our children.
It isn't lying to not mention how someone came into your family. Adoption, birth, marriage, whatever, they're still part of the family. If someone really needs to know you can explain, but in casual conversation it doesn't need to be expanded upon. I mean, do step families always list out who 'belongs' to whom?
Hang in there. Don't 'over think' the whole thing and be willing to just be at mental peace with who you are, and where you are in life. (HA! Remind me I said this...it isn't always easy to live this one out!)