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Well we are almost nearing the end of the 'foster' portion with 4 of our kids. We have 6 kids, 2 sib groups. We are going to adoption on 3 of 4 in one group and 1 of 2 in the other. With the group of 4, the older 3 have not seen their bio mom in 2 1/2 years. The baby has visits though. I just don't take them to the visits, a friend watches them.With the group of 2, they have 1 visit together and then the baby has a 2nd hour alone.Biomom is going to sign over rights on Friday, if not, TPR trial is the 16th. Now this is ONLY for the 2 yr old, not the baby.The complicatin is that we are going to limit visits to 2x per year....so how do I handle contact with biomom when I have to take the baby for her 2nd visit. She will see D in the lobby and I'm sure will try to hug/kiss/talk to her. D doesn't know who biomom is other than the lady she played with once a week off and on (from 11 mos to 2 yrs D never saw her). I don't think it will be traumatic for D to see her, but worry that biomom will not respect boundaries and cause issues.Any suggestions?
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An update. We decided to limit the visits to 1x per year but allow bmom to contact us through PO box whenever she wanted. That and some other things...she was quite hostile and said she had no intentions of signing over her rights (don't think she ever had). So while her lawyer was pushing and still is, we have decided that due to her open hostility toward DH and I, and her already unhealthy relationship w/ FD, that we are not going to enter any type of agreement with her regarding post adoption contact. We left it open that if she were to change her life around and be receptive to a working relationship we would be willing to revisit the issue in the future. TPR trial is Wed. Should be nasty, from all I can tell. I've decided that I'll just have to go out of my way to prevent her from seeing FD on those visit times...some friends have been willing to step up and watch her when I drop off the baby.
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