thoughts of a "birth sister"

So do I! :grouphug:

That's wonderful, Julie.

julie23 Nothing is perfect.. life is not perfect and you are IMO teaching your little girl this.. When you sort.. she will sort.. when you do what needs must she will follow.. We can not make the perfect world for our kids can we.. My Naomi said to me when I told her how sorry I was for some of her early years.. she said to me.. Mommy now I have something to write when I write my books.Ӕ Depth of understanding about the human condition.. this world we live in this world that is not perfect this society that is not perfect.. I am thinking of the saying.. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche And Julie you are showing your girl that one of the worst things to happen in your life.. can and will be dealt with.. That you adopted when adoption/relinquishment was a beyond difficult time of your life.. Your girl will have the tools in life to sort and live and do all the things she needs to do in order to just be. Jackie

thank you for this encouragement.... i tried so hard to give my first daughter the "perfect life" by making an adoption plan for her... and then, when my second 'first' daughter was born, i did everything in my power to give her a "perfect life"... and i did her a grave injustice... it is better to allow them to grow and learn... to suffer disappointment... and sadness... to teach them how to sort it... how to get through it... i think. it was one of the worst things in my life... both the adoption plan... and reuniting... both painful... both beyond difficult. it is a strange thing, then... to adopt a child.... a full circle i think... it is true, though... that the view from the adoptive mother side of the triad is a lot happier than from the birthmother side of it all.... there is so much power in this side of the triad... so much power. i would do this again... this adopting thing... but i could not survive the loss of one of my daughters... that i could not survive again... it is unnatural to give a baby away... it goes against our insides... it is something that we can eventually, maybe, if we are lucky... find some peace with... julie

Good morning Julie.. I often think of you taking care of the baby.. I remember watching a movie about a guy that drove his lawn-mower across a couple of states in order to see his dying brother.. he could not drive a car or did not have a car because he was poor.. He was camped by the side of the road and a young pregnant girl came to his camp site.. he offered her some food.. and talk.. Obviously the girl was running away from home.. shamed and pregnant.. What he did was to tie a bunch of twigs up.. and asked if she could break the twigs.. He showed that you can break one twig.. one twig alone but not a bunch of them.. they are strong.. The young pregnant girl left before morning and obviously went home.. My family helped me but they did not could not help me keep my son.. and I was so alone then.. broken off.. Heck when I got pregnant I was broken off.. Now my family is strong.. My son moved out here last year.. there was no work in Toronto.. We asked for nothing and he just spent time with us.. He was able to give up his apartment and not go into debt.. Now he is working on a major film and is just shoveling the money into the bank.. So when his life went to hell.. (no work no money) we gave him a place to be.. It’s a verb.. this love.. And we need to stick together.. Yes.. This adoption thing if fascinating to me.. this human condition. This thing the society thought it could do after the second world war.. Separate the baby and make it better and tell the woman she can go and sin no more.. I think of all the things/issues that come from that skewed thinking.. whew.. But we learn.. You reached out when the hard things came at you.. We are strong women.. such strong women.. I hate the hard times.. I hate when bad comes at me.. or if there is a loss.. or a worry.. Jackie