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Hi there, I have been lurking here for a week or so and thought that I would introduce myself. To bring you up to speed on why I am here... I'll give you a quick overview DH and I have always considered adoption and want to have some biokids and some adopted. We don't really care if they are newborns or older, but my heart goes out to the ones who are older because I can't imagine being that old and seeing no end to the current lifestyle in sight. I grew up with my bio (paternal) grandma and overall had an excellent experience. This has lots to do with my motivation. I felt like I had such a good life that I want to give someone else that opportunity. I also had experience with separation/divorce between my grandparents who I refered to as mom and dad. I had no idea they weren't my bioparents until I was around 7 or 8 yo. I had many problems with actually an abduction by my biofather (taken to the other side of the country during custody proceedings and recovered by the police), and didn't meet my biomom until I was 15. Again though, I feel incredibly blessed and now successful and I want to pass on my knowledge and love to another child. DH and I are 27 and 24, has anyone else adopted when they were this young? I'm scared of this being an issue. Another thing is that we both work full time. Does anyone else do this? Is it an issue? We always keep our eye out on the current "Waiting Kids" but to be honest, none of the circumstances or children really touched our heart until recently. There is a little girl who is 9, she is the same background as myself. Same interests. I don't know anything really about her past, but we are becoming members of the adoption counsel to find out. I have done quite a bit of reading here and elsewhere on the internet and I agree with some of the other posters that some experiences do sound terrifying! I was on here last night until late into the night actually, just reading your experiences. And, I felt like giving up, but DH said 'no, we still have to try!'. I agree. I can't stop thinking about this girl. I'm just so full of questions. I hope you guys can give me some answers. And, is anyone else from Canada? Thanks, I look forward from hearing from you.
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My husband and I are about the same age as you two. We are 26 and 27. We were also concerned at the 'get-go' that our age could hurt our chances of being matched. We seemed to be one of the youngest couples at our PRIDE training. However, our age didn't seem to be an issue at all with either our homestudy worker or our adoption worker. We also both work full time and our adoption worker from CAS (London - Middlesex County) said that one of us must take parental leave for the first 35 weeks that the child is with us. Just like you or your spouse would take maternity/parental leave if you have a bio child, CAS expects you to take parental leave to bond with your adoptive child. At least this is the case with our CAS, they can vary.
I am also from Canada, and have been thinking about/looking into adoption for a long time. my research says that you are probably at about the perfect age for most adopton "Groups". And I know how you feel with searching the "Waiting Children" and say if this little girl "Feels Right" for you guys look harder into it than I did both times I've found ones there that felt that way. I lost out on "My Children" because I felt that my situation at the time (single, and less than 25, also Finances) would not allow me. And at the times when my heart would win out I would go and discover they were removed (so probably in homes, I hope, and want to believe that anyway) so had lost my chance and believe that they probably weren't meant for me, but to prepare me for that step. I'm still waiting for the next one that feels like that. But now I'm in the situation where I am not alone, nor just trying to make it through university. However since I've discovered that Ethiopia is an option my heart has been telling me I may find a child waiting there as well. Note I've been a Lurker here for years and only just signed up, and still rarely post.
Hi there,We were placed with our daughter, who was a few months shy of her 5th birthday, when I was 26 and dh was 25. We "stumped" a lot of the workers...well, almost all of them, who kept asking why. We were opting to adopt before having bio kids and that isn't typical. We live just outside Toronto.Two years after she came to us we had our biological son. It's worked out beautifully. She is the best big sister on the planet, he worships her and I LOVE the huge age gap between my kids (7 years).My heart is leading me to an international adoption next, but dh isn't sold on having three kids. We will see what happens!Adopting a special needs child (because she was not an infant, she was considered special needs) has been the most challenging thing I've ever done. On at least a semi annual basis I'm reduced to tears! She is amazing, but now that I have a bio child I understand the challenges more clearly. I guess it's because I have something to compare it to. Before it was just "Oh, I guess that's what a 5 year old does!". We had done a fair amount of foster relief and volunteer with special needs kids before she came to us.I would do it all again in a heartbeat, but I do watch friends with "average" children and wonder at what they're complaining about or struggling with! It seems so much easier.She is my miracle and I really believe she's the reason I'm on this planet. We're a perfect match.Allana