HELP Anyone had a parent/s go back to court after adoption is final?

The only way they could overturn the adoption, as far as I'm aware, is if there was some procedural error during the adoption or terminating of his rights.

Most states have a time period after the termination of rights in which a parent can attempt to over turn the termination. An adoption can not be done until that time has expired. Where I live it is 30 days. After that time, they can't file an appeal. I would say if the adoption is done, that time period for the appeal is over and he can't do anything. Let him attorney shop, I don't think he will find anyone to take it. If your adoption is final, that child is yours. Unless it is writen in the adoption decree that he is allowed contact, you don't have to let him have contact. Put a stop to it if you want.

Well, the adoption was final June 5th 2007. It has been over a year at this point. But, he did manage somehow (not sure it's true or not) to get his drunk driving conviction expunged. The one he drove drunk with her in the car. The police took her at that point, though DHS was already involved in the case at that point. They did follow procedure, he had his list of things he needed to do and he did not follow through with his plan. I mean NOTHING....he did not one thing he needed to.Problem is that he does things like getting his record expunged. He is very convincing when he gets on his rants. At this point, a year out, I can't imagine anyone would take his case. BUT>>>>we all know there are some unscrupulous lawyers out there. I know there is very little to NO chance he is going to even find a lawyer, but I keep wondering when it ends. No, we don't have it in the adoption that we will continue contact. It was said in court that they hoped I would. Up to this point, it has gone very well. Then out of the clear blue he brings this up. He told me too that if she can't be home with him and his Mom he is happy she is with me. BUT he is lawyer shopping. He is collecting up things. He SAYS...Oh DHS had a conspiracy against him. That the case worker had it in for him from the beginning. I just hope he doesn't get some crazy lawyer who wants some fame. They don't have money to back anything. So it will have to be a pretty desperate person if they do take the case. Just wanting to pull my hair out. A year out and he is still not accepting the situation. He also said gee he couldn't get Savannahs birth certificate. I said thats cause you are not ON her birth certificate. He was shocked. He really doesn't get this. I am lost. I think a deciding factor was too, that I have married since the adoption. She has a step father now who adores her and she adores him. He is planning on adopting her eveutually. I think he is upset by that and quite frankly....his mental thinking is that he did nothing wrong and it was all conspiracy. There is a good chance we will be moving. I am thinking we are just going to disappear. I don't know that this would be best for Savannah, but the stress for me is crazy.

The stress on you is not good for Savannah either. I don't see this going anywhere. Even with his record expunged, it doesn't change the fact that he WAS driving under the influence with her in the car and they were already under investigation and/or receiving services so that was not the only occurrence or problem. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Quit taking his calls. They are doing nothing but upsetting you and your household. You're right.....he doesn't get it, but that doesn't have to affect you unless you let it. Kim

Once the adoption is final, it is nearly impossible to overturn. Even if there is a procedural error the Courts usually look at whether the best interests of the child warrants overturning the adoption. In my state- a parent can file a petition in the Court to enforce an open adoption agreement. But they will not be appointed an attorney - so unless they have the financial resources to hire an attorney, they have to represent themselves. And the open adoption contracts almost always have a clause which provides that the adoptive parents can cut off the birth parent if they "reasonably" think that it is in th child's best interest. Don't let him intimidate you. Your adoption is final. If he is not being appropriate, cut him off until he improves his behavior. Good luck.

Unfortunately, it sounds like he's still in denial about the whole thing. Sounds like some counseling might do him some good. The DSS conspiracy theory is one our workers said they hear regularly. If you don't have a written open adoption agreement, then cutting off contact until he gets his act together sounds like a good idea. But see if you can keep track of where he is, though, in case your daughter wants contact later.

I don't think it would be good for your daughter to have contact with her bfather if he is not going to support the adoption. My daughter's bdad got in contact with her two years after her adoption, and told her that she was old enough now (11 yrs old) that she didn't have to live with me if she didn't want to and he was going to go to court and get custody of her. She told him she wanted to stay with me (she actually believed him that he could do that) and he was nasty about it and told her that when she attended an upcoming family function he would come with the police and get custody of her. She was really stressed out but didn't tell me about the contact. Eventually I caught on that something bad was going on and she told me and showed me the emails. Then later that week she threatened to commit suicide and had to go to the ER for a psych evaluation. So, my advice is cut all contact if the bdad has mental issues. Your daughter will not need that in her life. If you consider how stressful it is to you, a grown-up, knowing that he cannot do that, think how upsetting it would be to your child if he expresses those things to her sometime in the future.

If I were you I wouldn't worry about the actual adoption but I'd figure out a way to extricate myself from this guy. Just the phrase "attorney shopping" is so threatening and obnoxious. How could you possibly have an open adoption with him? He doesn't even respect the adoption! He sounds like a bully and F.O.S. (full of "something") Get tough and protect your daughter and your sanity! You are the parent, the law is on your side (not even on your side the law is the law). He needs to take responsibility for his actions or get some serious counseling but I don't think it's your responsibility or your problem.

Wow, do our kids have the same dad? In our case, the guy is CONSTANTLY harassing the folks who adopted the two youngest. He is always threatening to take them to court for one thing or another, but it's been all talk - no court would here this nonsense. Here's the latest: The adoptive parents are actually granparents to the littlest kids on their mom's side (no relation to the one I have). But here's the catch - grandpa is only actually a STEP dad to the mom, so there is no actual blood or DNA relation. Crazy dad (who has much the same mental health DX as yours, by the way) says that this is FRAUD - that only people related by BLOOD are allowed to adopt, and that "his lawyer says" this is grounds to overturn the adoption. *big eye roll*. But I would definitley re-think the open-ness with this guy!

You have to take control of this situation. Next phone call tell him this will be our last phone call until XXX, (I'd suggest October after your child has started school and you have some news to report). We keep our contacts to one time between XMas and New Years, the child's b-day, the beginning of summer, and shortly after school starts. At the end of each contact, I say, okay, well you can call again XXX. We have had a call out of order (I think biomom was testing) and I said, look, you just talked to him a few weeks ago and there is really nothing different going on here. I'm not going to allow this phone call, it is too disrupting to the child, but you can call again XXX like I mentioned before. Keep the phone calls to about the child only and if he starts with lawyers, etc., I'd tell him you do what you have to do, but do not discuss it with me or this conversation ends now. I would not allow him to brow beat or intimidate you. He has no rights to the child and no judge will overturn an adoption based on his rantings :boot: . We allow bios to write, but letters must be addressed to us so that we can monitor appropriateness. Our daughters bio has our address, our son's bio does not, but is instructed to send all correspondence to our adoption worker at the county who will forward it to us. Just for a laugh - do you know she once told us she needed our direct address, not the county, because she was "in the witness protection program"!?! :arrow: I said, then don't put a return address on it:cowboy: She has major MH problems and we do not want her to know where we live. We do have visits. But they are at my convenience and discretion.

Well, I decided that the contact is going to stop for quite a while. Needless to say he was not happy. I have had calls from several family members now to ask why I am doing this to them. I told them all the same thing. It's not about them, it's about Savannah. After talking with her therapist, we decided that she is not moving on with her life and that needs to be changed. I did not say we will NEVER have contact again, but I did say that it would be at least Christmas before I spoke to them again. They have called several times and I did not answer the phone. Savannah found it very tough at first, but then came an outpouring of emotions she had bottled up. I think though she was told she was adopted, she never understood that it was final. Now, she is secure in the way life is now. I am not sure where we will go from here. My husband is immigrating from a different country and that is our focus right now. He loves and adores her and will be a wonderful father figure for her. I have decided that for now, no decision one way or the other needs to be made. We are happy now and that is going to stay this way for now.

Yes indeedy--good decision. Our ds's birthmother talks about going to an attorney--but not to us. I wish she would-I'd buy a ticket to sit and listen to someone tell her she is full of it. She chose drugs over this beautiful child--she has her drugs, now, forever.