Separation Anxiety

Lonewolf3, I absolutely know what you are talking about when you are saying that you "hold people at arms length", and that you never missed your aparents and it didn't mean that you didn't love them. I can totatlly relate to you. I have a 23 yr old daughter and a 22 yr old son, and I love them with all my heart. WE live 1100 mils away, and I don't miss them. I know I can talk to them on the phone and that's fine for me. And I get pics on the net too! so we stay in touch. I'm sure if I didn't have that it would be painful for me, so maybe that's not so unnormal, I don't know. I am very close with both of them, and I love them with all my heart!!! I just don't miss them. I hear mother's talking about their young adult children and how much they miss them sometimes, and I feel guilty that I don't really miss mine. I doin't miss people in general though, never have. It's all very logical to me, you are there, I am here, and so??? I'll be back on such and such date, or I won't be back, I mean I just adjust to whatever the facts are. I don't know what else to do. Missing people seems like a big wasted emotion to me! But, my birth mother??? OH, now that's something way different altogether. I MISS HER! I feel deeply about her, and I'll weep over it for hours only end wanting her! I still know she's out there though. If I knew that she wans't there??? I don't know, I'm not in that spot to deal with that, or not that I a know of yet. I very well could be, the last I heard about my birth mother was about 5 years ago she was still living, that doesn't mean that she still is. I just don't know yet, that's all. I have only experienced the feeling of "missing someone" a couple of times and that was my husband a couple of years ago, I went back home for a visit and he had to stay because of work, and I relaly missed him by the time I was away for a few days. It was a NEW feeling for me at the age of about 41! i wasn't told that I was adopted and that I had a birth mother out there, and recently found out, I didn't escape not one behavioral issue or relationship problem due to this and it's all about the emotions I have for her that are to this date "unresolved"! The more I work on things, the better I am getting, and I know that working through this, although painful and awful at times, is so well worth it. Some days, it's not so good, had a couple of them in the past two days! I'm probably the only person that actually giggled to myself with joy that I felt like I missed my husband while I was away! It's silly, but it is true. I cherish moments like that after not feeling that way for my whole life. It does make me feel alive!:cheer: I'm so glad you are only 22 and you are starting to work on your issues, there is so much hope for you. There are so many helpful supportive things you can do, and so many ways to connect to others that have been through what you are going through. It helps me immensely just to know that I don't go through all this stuff alone, and that others know how this feels at times. Glad you are here!