Same sex couples + adoption

No country in the world, including the U.S., will let two cohabiting singles, whether gay or straight, adopt as a couple. It's not a matter of homophobia; heterosexual couples who choose not to marry are affected as much as same sex couples. The laws of most nations give legally married couples certain rights and certain obligations, which are not given to couples who are not legally married. These laws affect things like financial responsibilities, responsibilities in the case of divorce, etc. That being said, the U.S. has a few states that have what are called "second parent adoption" laws. These laws, well known in the gay community but less well known in the straight community, are used AFTER one person in a cohabiting couple (gay or straight) gives birth to or adopts a child. They allow the other person in the couple to go to court and petition to have the same rights as the person who bore or adopted the child. As a result, even if an American gay or lesbian adopts as a single, he/she may be able to ensure that his/her partner has equal rights, if he/she lives in a state that has a second parent adoption law. Look for second parent adoption laws in states that have been fairly liberal on gay issues, like the District of Columbia. But, unfortunately, do not expect them to be widespread. A few foreign countries do not accept singles of any orientation; like Korea and China, they are open only to legally married couples. Unfortunately, as a few U.S. states begin to allow gay marriage, these countries will begin to say "legally married HETEROSEXUAL couples" since they tend to have limited experience with gays and lesbians as parents, and many false notions as a result. Quite a few foreign countries accept single women. Until recently, many countries did not realize that many lesbians wanted to adopt, and so they did not have any overt prohibitions on the subject. Many lesbians, both truly single and in partnerships, adopted as a result. Unfortunately, more and more countries are realizing that lesbians and gays are adopting, and are cracking down, because of their unfamiliarity with the way gays and lesbians live in the Western world. Unpartnered lesbians often can still adopt, especially if they use a gay-friendly homestudy agency that knows how to write a very sensitive report that glosses over the issue of orientation. However, openly lesbian couples will have considerable difficulty unless they are willing to go to great lengths to lie about their situation -- for example, by having one partner move out during the process. Most countries do not accept single men, whether straight or gay, and whether partnered or solo. The few that do will generally accept only heterosexual men, who either have no current partner or have an opposite gender partner. A few countries may accept a single person who is in a known, committed relationship with a person of the opposite gender, but unmarried. However, many will not, considering cohabitation without marriage an unsuitable lifestyle. Unfortunately, most countries will not accept a single person who is in a known, committed relationship with a person of the same gender. Many of the countries from which Americans adopt have cultural taboos relating to homosexuality. They also have little experience with openly gay people who live just like everyone else, since their gay population has been so marginalized over the years. Some countries will quietly place a child with a known gay or lesbian couple, if that couple is working with an agency that has a good relationship with officials in the foreign country and if the couple seems especially well-qualified. It is most likely to occur if the child has special needs, though some healthy children have been adopted. But these situations must, at this time, be considered pretty rare. Gay/lesbian Americans who do not want to lie about their orientation or relationships often wind up adopting domestically. Except in a few states that ban gay adoption, it is often possible for a gay male or lesbian to adopt a child from foster care or to do a private adoption. One person adopts as a single, but the fact that the person is in a committed relationship with a person of the same gender can be made known. Some gays and lesbians have also turned to other options such as the use of a sperm bank, surrogacy, etc. Sharon