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:hissy: I have a lot to deal with. My birth father died after a fatal attack by a psychopath when I was 4 months old. My bmother as a result suffered from severe depression a later schitzophrenia. I don't tell anyone about this because it seems so wretched and terrible, and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't have a good relationship with my amum at all and have now lost contact with them. Dealing with immense grief is hard. I found out the exact details of my bfather's death, and how he fought for his life on the internet a couple of months ago. These were the court papers on the internet for the whole world to see.
I don't need anyone to feel sorry for me, because I have dealt with this myself and have hardened my emotion to it. I have cried many times and can't cry anymore - I am numb. Does anybody know how this feels/or who has this experience or similar please contact me to share your adoption story.:coffee:
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Is a birthmom ................... and I do feel sorry for you but not for the reasons you think ........ You can NEVER change your past but you can change what will come your way.......The past does not make you who you are today Take the good things you have and make them better
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Have you gotten counseling to help you to deal with your grief? As you say, it's a hard thing to deal with. You will find many people here who are dealing with stories as difficult and as tragic as yours. I wish you well.
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Besides professional grief counseling (which I would recommend if it is available to you), you may want to see if there are any support groups in your area for children who have lost parents, relatives of murder vicitims, or something similar. Even if your story is a little different because of having been adopted, you'd be amazed how similar the feelings are. It really helps when you can tell your story (this is usually the first step in grief counseling), but it is best when you can do so in a supportive environment.
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Thank you for the e-mail. I like your saying "take the good things and make them better. You have given me courage. I agree with you, when you say the past does not make you who you are today.
Thank you.
Ellenor
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HI
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CURT SMITH
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I am sorry to hear about your story. I think for so many adoptions none actually involve tragedy or sadness and thats why I sort of understand your feelings.
I was adopted from Guatemala but the main reasoning behind my adoption was because my adoptive mothers brother was kidnapped and more than likely killed when he was a preist and working at the orphanage that I was at. My Mom did not go there looking for a child she went in search for her brother, there has always been a question in my head if when she looks at me she is reminded of her brother and what my people did to him. She and I as well do not have a good relationship and my life isnt where it should be going and I am trying to start searching for my family. Sometimes I wish there were more support groups for adoptees whose adoptions arent the run of the mill and arent straight forward. I truly wish you all the best and although our stories arent quite the same there is tragedy behind them.
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